Twisting Roses

21: Leaving Him (Part 2)

-When she finally gave up-

Cupping my right cheek in pure disbelief and shock, I looked up at my husband with huge tears of betrayal and extreme pain now brimming my eyes. This had finally happened. He had slapped me. The fury blazing in his eyes...the anger...it felt so excruciating and eye-opening.

 I had never felt this low.

"You knew!" Demir bellowed before me, completely ignoring my pitiful stance...my lost look. "I trusted you...even fought against my own family for you, and you did this!" His eyes blazed, glaring at me. I didn't know how to even respond. 

I felt completely frozen by the shock and misery of being struck again. This abuse had happened not once but twice, and both times it was for Meeran-the woman that he truly adored.

 I felt like such a fool. 

"Answer me!" he sneered, snapping me out of my devastating stance and roughly pulling me up by my arm. I felt so weak in his rough hold, so broken by his anger. This man...I could do anything for him. Albeit, I had been so selfish, it was because I was so scared of losing him. He brought meaning to the beating of my heart...made me want to breathe for him. It was him that mattered so much to me. His smile was my weakness. I didn't know why, but I was deeply and obsessively attached. 

My world...it seemed so bleak without him. 

"I-I didn't mean to h-hurt you. I-I was just scared." A few of my tears finally escaped towards my cheek, as I weakly met his gaze. The hurt and anguish were completely crushing my presence. This entire situation seemed so nightmarish. 

His expression tightened at the sight of my dripping tears. 

"My mother was right about being cautious around people from your class. I just didn't think you would turn out to be a manipulative gold digger, too. Your inferiority complexes and irrelevant insecurity issues are just too much for me. It's disgusting how low you really stooped to get your way," he cruelly insulted, not even bothering about the impact his words were having on me. 

A manipulative and low-class gold-digger.

This is what my husband truly thought....more like expected of me. I couldn't even manage to defend my stance, offer explanations, as I watched him then stomp out of our house. This ruthless stamping on my heart, his words...they seemed like a nightmarish blow that had literally knocked the air out of my lungs...heart. I didn't know what to say, how to react. One thing had struck me hard.

There was no point of fighting anymore.

Tears of misery and numbness flowed down as I stood staring at the closed doors, breaking because of the harsh realization that Demir would never care. My husband...he never held even an ounce of respect for me. The pounding sensation of his slap had made me realize that there was never really any hope for us.

I had been so weak, mimicking the exact reflection of my grandmother. While trying to fool herself, she had managed to fool me, too. All this time, I had been believing that I could make Demir feel the emotions I felt for him, but the truth was the feeling of love couldn't be forced. 

Demir had always been clear. His heart belonged to Meeran. He had ruthlessly broken my heart for her, openly flaunted his fondness for her while trying to fool me, and here I was tearing myself apart for him. These selfish emotions...this weak stance...this had never been me. But for him, I had chosen to literally destroy my own personality. His opinion made my day...his heart made me want to act as a criminal. In the process of trying to make my husband accept me, I had completely lost my own self, allowed my morals to become distorted. 

It felt so devastating and extremely heartbreaking. 

Pressing my eyes closed, I now sobbed out loud and leaned against the wall; the excruciating pain and hurt had completely exhausted my soul. My emotions felt so vulnerable and open in front of the terrifying storm surrounding me.