Crystal Mist

Chapter 7: Bucketlist

Vondell POV

It was just another day for me in the province. Brighton Airport is just one of the many companies that I'm allied with. Bumababa ang value nila sa stock market so I agreed to stay over in the Alcontar province for the next few months.

I have a house here anyway. Malawak ang probinsya na'to at medyo mas urbanized din. It's like a little Manila without the traffic and all the other bad things. To put it simply, it's like a peaceful Manila. Madaming establishments at mapupuntahan.

I thought it was going to be a normal trip, just like my boring normal life. But when I started having heavy headaches and couldn't take it anymore, that's when I finally decided to go to a doctor. I mean, there's nothing to lose, right? The headaches just annoy me and I want to get rid of them.

I thought it was simple but just a few words from the doctor made me question my whole existence.

"Mr. Castanier, you appear to have symptoms of lupus. The results of the tests we made you do the other day showed exactly just that. We recommend you to go back to Manila for treatment. We can arrange it to you straight away so you can recover fully."

Lupus? What a big fat joke. Go back to Manila and get treatment? Sus. How troublesome.

At that moment, I was very confused. I don't know what to do. My life has always been boring, there's nothing that excites me even more. As they say, it's true that I got it all - money, looks, power or whatever. I might not have my parents anymore but I was very loved by them until their last days. I have reliable companions and heaps of girls to get me entertained for a while.

Life is very simple for me and it's boring the fuck out of me. I feel like there's something missing. I want to be able to find something that would excite me.

If I were to die without feeling that excitement I've been looking for... If I were to die with just the same old state I'm in... I'd be very lonely.

I sighed and decided to calm myself by going to the rooftop of the hospital. It's quiet and it's already so dark at night so it's perfect! Lalo na sa yosi time.

Smoking apparantly makes the symptoms of lupus worse, sabi ng doktor kanina. He told me to quit straight away yet here I am, in the rooftop, smoking to my heart's content.

Feeling ko, ayaw ko muna mamatay ng hindi pa nakakadamdam ng kakaiba, ng nakaka-excite. Pero eto ako ngayon, parang pinapatay ko na din sarili ko habang nagyo-yosi. How ironic, right?

I can't help it. I love the smell of cigar. It's the only thing that calms me down and now, it's also that one thing that will slowly kill me.

Perhaps, I was too drowned in my thoughts that I failed to notice that another person have come to the rooftop.

I glanced at her from faraway but she couldn't see me because she was facing towards the front. I could hear her cries all the way from my position.

I don't know what kind of force went into my body but I just went to her... stopped her from jumping and even tried to comfort her, even though she rejected me quite badly.

I remember even saying to her, "Life is precious. Take care of it. It's a privilege that you should make use of."

Tsss. How hypocritical of me. I am a hypocrite. Sasabihin ko sakanya na alagaan niya yung buhay niya when I don't even think much of life myself? Sinungaling nga siguro talaga ako.