Crystal Mist

Chapter 12: Feelings

Chevelle POV

Parang panaginip ko lang 'yung nangyari kagabi. Sir Von and I didn't talk to each other afterwards so it was a quiet ride on the way to his house in Manila.

Pagod ako sa biyahe at dapat, I can sleep with ease pero hindi... I kept of thinking about what happened!

My mind is filled with Sir Von and his kiss, damn it! Di ako matulog dahil paulit-ulit na nagre-replay sa akin ang mga sinabi niya at ginawa niya. Parang kamatis na nga yung mukha ko, e. Nakakainis!

Although I only slept for a few hours, mabuti naman at nagising ako ng maaga. I always wake up at this hour because I want to be able to cook breakfast for him.

Ahhh, just saying his name makes me all flustered again. Kala mo naman parang teenager ako. Bakit niya ba kasi ginawa 'yun! Now I have no idea how to face him. My heart would probably just race so fast 'till I can't bear it anymore.

Pero laking gulat ko nang may makita ako na hindi ko kilala sa kitchen.

"Oh, hi. You must be Von's personal nurse." sabi ng babae.

She was a petite, pretty chinita girl. Nakasuot lang siya ng bathrobe at nagluluto sa kitchen. Sa lagay niya ngayon, tila dito siya sa bahay ni Von natulog... messy hair, unkept bathrobe. One could get an idea why she looks like that. Somehow, it makes my heart burn a bit. Parang may tumutusok dito.

How did she get in here? Who is she? But before I could even ask those quesions, nagsalita ulit siya.

"I'm Brielle, Von's girlfriend. Nagluluto ako ng adobo, his favorite. You can eat with us too. Narinig ko na you've been taking care of him these last few days... thank you for that. Thank you for taking care of my boyfriend." sabi niya ng mariin.

Unti-unting nawawasak ang puso ko. Ang delusional ko talaga. Just because he kissed me last night doesn't mean it means anything. Siguro it was his weird way of saying 'thanks' or whatever at wala lang sakanya 'yun.

Ang unfair dahil first kiss ko 'yun at parang nilaro niya lang ako pero sino ba may kasalanan? Diba ako? Why didn't I ask him about what the kiss meant. Bakit ako nagpakagaga at kinilig dahil doon! Damn you, self! Gaga!

I don't want to be vulnerable in front of the woman so I tried my very best to keep my composure.

"Oh... sige po, Ma'am. I'll just go to my room to quickly check things. Sir Von is going to undergo treatment soon so I'll need to go to the hospital today." I said.

Honestly, all I want to do right now is escape. I want to get out of this house to clear out my thoughts. I want to erase last night's memories along with the feelings I felt. This isn't right! After all, boss ko siya and he thinks nothing of me other than a mere servant.

"Hmm... okay. I guess Von and I could have more time to ourselves, then." she said with a smile.

Pero kahit nakangiti siya at tila maamo ang mukha niya, why do I feel so annoyed? Why do I feel like she's being sarcastic?

I forced myself to give her a smile before packing up in my room.

Kahit parang winawasak ang puso ko, kahit feeling ko ngayon na Sir Von's joke last night went too far... I still care for him. I want his treatment to be successful so I don't want my damned feelings to get in the way.

I need him to undergo his treatment soon so he can live life... so he can be happy with his, girlfriend.

And maybe, I'll still be lucky and be able to watch him in the background. I'll be able to clap and wish him my blessing.

Yes, kahit 'yun lang siguro, maybe I'll be okay. Then eventually, the feelings I felt and memories of last night can be buried deep in my heart forever. I'll put hundreds of chains in them so they can never be out.

Sabagal lang 'yun sa buhay niya. I don't ever want to be a nuisance to him...

Nakakainis dahil habang nag-aayos ako ng paperworks at gamit, bumuhos ang mga luha ko. Why do I have to feel these emotions for? Fuck!