The Vigilantes

I Wish

TW: Panic Attack, Torture

When Virgil had fallen asleep that night all he could think about was superheroes and villains. Specifically the villains.

"Let me out! Let me out!" He saw his younger self scream. He could see his fists beating against the glass, his large purple eyes pouring with tears. "Please..." He watched as his young teenage self was left to whimper in a cage. He wanted to look away, but he was forced to watch as he was tested on. He remembered Remus cooing into his ear that he was special. A gift of God himself as he listened to the destructive thoughts poured into his head. "Embrace it..." he heard Remus whisper. "Embrace it..."

The scene changed. He saw Diesel change from his mother to his father to his brother. All of them shouting insults. Things he had never heard them say before, but it sounded so much like them, it had to be them. He saw himself claw his hands through his purple dyed hair. "Stop. Stop. STOP!"  But they kept talking. From his mother to his father to his brother. Mother, father, brother. Mother, father, brother. Mother, father, brother.

Diesel would do this until Virgil couldn't breathe. He'd watch as Virgil struggled to even scream, to even cry for help. Then, and only then, would he tilt Virgil's head towards him with his yellow fingered gloves, and whisper that only Remus and Diesel could only love him. That they were his life and his choice. That he needed them.

And he watched his younger, foolish, self cling to Diesel with big purple eyes, begging for him to help. He never did.

Virgil shot up. Hair clinging to his forehead as his vision faded in and out. He looked around, he didn't want to be in that dusty cage, where love was torture. He felt a hand press on his shoulder. He flew like a rocket, racing from his bed to the other side of the wall. "No, no, no, please..." He cried softly. "I'm sorry, sorry. "I didn't, I didn't, mean to, to...."

"Virgil, calm down. You're alright," he heard a voice say. The voice it sounded so far away, like he'd never reach it. "Kiddo?" There, another voice. He recognized it. Where was he? "Dear Emo?" He looked up, there they stood, his three friends.

"Where, where, wh-" He sighed frustrated. He couldn't speak, his stupid stutter. He glanced at his hands, shaking still. "A-am?" He sighed again, looking between his three friends. They were blurry, probably from tears that still ran down his face, but he looked for the one person who he knew would understand what was happening.

"Lo-Lo-an?" He curled his hands through his hair. It was so frustrating, not being able to speak. He felt more tears fall down his red cheeks. Suddenly he felt someone wipe the tears away with a tissue. "I'm right here."

He sighed happily. They knew what he wanted to say but couldn't. Or at the very least got the gist of it. "Aper- P-per," he stopped and took a deep breath, "Paaap-per," He forced out. He watched Logan nod and grab a notebook off of Virgil's drawer and a small black pen. He handed Virgil the notebook and paper then asked; "What happened?"

His hands were still shaking, but it was better than talking. Nightmare, panic attack.

Logan nodded again. "Will you be alright?" Yes.

"Are you in any pain?" No.

"Would like one of us to stay in here?" Logan glanced between all of them, while Virgil stared. He couldn't ask Patton, he didn't know how Roman would feel about that, and he definitely didn't want Roman to stay.

You?

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Logan froze. He wasn't used to being wanted. Not in the slightest. But here he was, a person- his crush- needed him. So he nodded slowly, helping Virgil up, and gesturing for his two other friends to leave. He watched Virgil stare at the bed, tossing the notebook and pen on the floor beside it.

He turned to look at him. "Are you uncomfortable?" Logan asked. Truthfully, Logan was a nervous wreck on the inside, and was barely holding it together. Virgil shook his head no, and climbed to the other side of the bed, slipping under the covers.

Nervously, Logan climbed onto the small bed, slipping under the covers and gently pulling Virgil against him. "Goodnight, Virgil," he whispered in the younger's purple hair. He watched as Virgil gently laid his head on Logan's chest. Slowly he wrapped his arms around Virgil's waist, and listened to the quite snores from his crush.

He didn't remember falling asleep. He fixed his glasses and glanced at an alarm clock on Virgil's desk shelf. 6:00am it blinked back at him. Roman and Patton would leave for work in an hour at most. He reached down beside the bed, careful not to jostle Virgil to much, and grabbed the pen and notebook.

I hope you feel better, Virgil. He wrote, carefully choosing his words. I didn't know you had anxiety, I suspected, but was a bit nervous to ask. I assume you kept this information to yourself to not worry us, but I wish I had. I didn't know when we finally discussed our secrets that it would overwhelm. I wish I had. It seems lately I've been wishing for quite a few things. I hope they come true.

Your friend,

Logan.

He placed the notebook back on the floor with the pen. He reached into his pocket and grabbed his phone. He worked at a local bookstore, and his the bookstore owner, Talyn, had given him their phone the second week he had worked there. Claiming he was a 'cool guy'.

Logan: I'm sorry, but I will not be able to come to work today.

He texted. He bit his lip gently, he had never missed work before, his first time in a year. There goes his perfect record. He glanced at Virgil, and, for some reason, it seemed worth it.

Talyn: No prob, Bob! Cya tomorrow.

Logan: Goodbye.

He set his phone back on Virgil's nightstand with his glasses. He wrapped his arms back around Virgil, pulling him closer than before. Today he'd let himself relax.

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Woah, I'm on a roll!! Three posts in a day!!! Wooooaaaahhh! Also, cuddles!!! But uh, did you like this chapter? I based it some of my own panic attacks. Sometimes I stutter after one and it sounds like I don't know how to speak, so I kinda wanted to demonstrate that, but I don't know if I did? I don't know, I was really worried about this chapter, I just... I don't but I hope you like it? Have a nice day!