he's leaning over to write in his notebook, two messages.
one for dean and one for balthazar and the boy's.
doing it in school before homeroom was an easier option because no questions would be asked.
he's thinking hard about what to write, he's expressing feelings and stories, something he didn't normally do.
the nudge on his shoulder doesn't bother him, the thought of dean trying to get his attention doesn't bother him.
"cas, why are you mad at me?" castiel shuts the notebook fast, he cares now. dean can't read it until it's finished.
however he does not look up at dean or write anything to him, he barely acknowledges that he's there.
"you haven't communicated with me all weekend. and with you, i think no communication at all is worse than the silent treatment. you might hate me more after this but i think you're over reacting. i'm sorry for falling asleep on you, it was an accident and it really is harmless. you can't claim 'i don't understand' and not tell me how you see it."
castiel tenses his jawline, he wants to tell dean the truth about everything but he can't because he doesn't trust him enough. for now he would have to feed it to dean in little pieces.
dean's talking in a whisper. "is it because i came out to you as bi and you're scared that i might fall for you or something? because you don't have to worry, i'm into chicks more than i am guys."
he storms off because he's frustrated about how a small thing can make castiel want to call off a good friendship.
sometimes he just wishes castiel would talk to him, properly but he couldn't say that to him, it would be rude to.
castiel quickly finishes up his message to dean. the bell would ring in about two minutes so he ran to find and catch up to dean.
he places his arm on his shoulder when he does. when dean turns around he shoves the ripped out paper in to dean's hand and runs back, just in time for homeroom.
dean stood there in the middle of the hallway, reading it, he was so intrigued by it that he even told off the teachers but they let him be when they realised he wouldn't move until he finished what he was reading.
'dean,
believe me when i say that i'm sorry for ghosting you over the weekend and for freaking out about our little cuddle session. you should know by now that i'm not good with any kind of relationship so i'll jump at anything to break one. i haven't made it obvious but i'm gay and falling asleep on each other just brought back memories that i want to forget. i'm not going to go into details now but my ex-friend, balthazar and i had a bit of a romance happening between us, cuddling is sort of what triggered it. that relationship ended in a bad way, he broke me and that's not an exaggeration. so i panicked with you but know that i don't like you like that and i probably never will. we've only known each other for a short time and you've been a good friend but i think it's best if i'm not friends with anyone because i'll always question your motives because i'm always going to think that everyone is like him.'
dean crumpled up the paper when he finished reading it and made his way to cas' homeroom. he was able to trick the homeroom teacher into thinking the principal wanted cas.
castiel knows that's not the case, but he wasn't going to disobey instructions from a teacher.
dean drags him to the middle of the hallway and wraps his arms around castiel's upper back, he's head buried in his neck.
castiel doesn't hug him back.
"it seems to me that you need a friend right now and that's going to be fucking me. i meant it when i said i wasn't going to hurt you. i know it's hard for you now but you have to trust me because i'm not balthazar."
dean looks at castiel, "okay?" he questions. not wanting their friendship to end but if cas didn't want it, he understands.
castiel nods. though he feels uneasy about it but he figures he'll just prepare himself for when it all goes to shit.
"good. now we're gonna ditch the rest of the school day." it wasn't a question, more of a statement.
castiel normally wouldn't do this but he wants to be with dean, he feels bad for ghosting him all weekend.
he's just happy he didn't leave his backpack in the classroom because otherwise, it would be been suspicious.
