Reject (mxm)

Chapter Nine: Ruari

"Would you at least let me buy you dinner?" Ciaran asked and I could feel the walls I've been tirelessly building for the past week crumble into nothing, again.

Who could say no to this guy when he looks like that? Tall, perfectly built with chiseled features that could make a sculptor weep. And now his midnight blue eyes are looking at me like I'm the answer to all his prayers. Like my answer to his simple question would either save him or doom him for life. Seriously, his puppy dog look should be illegal. It's criminal!

Its just dinner... Rothe commented trying to sound casual, too casual in my opinion.

He's been covering up what he's feeling for the past week, blocking me out every time we're in Ciaran's presence or whenever he's mentioned. But I could feel his happiness flowing every time Ciaran is near us. I also felt how ecstatic he was when I asked Ciaran to take me to the city this afternoon.

Rothe loves him and I know the situation is tough for him because his allegiance is to me first. What he's feeling for Ciaran is something he cannot control and I understand it. The wolf inside Ciaran is Rothe's other half, his soul mate. Sometimes I wonder if I'm the only one holding us back from being complete.

Sooner or later I'd have to decide whether I'd stay or not but it won't be tonight. I need more time to think, to adjust. I don't want to jump into a relationship with Ciaran unless I trust him. This time I want us to be together because we both choose to be together, because we love and trust each other.

I do love him. I can feel that I love him and it's not just because of Rothe. But I don't trust him. I know he's trying and I'm willing to give him a chance. I just don't want to rush into anything.

"Pick the place." I answered and immediately Rothe's light mood was overflowing and I could feel blissful relief from Ciaran. He was grinning so widely it looked almost creepy.

I lightly shook my head as Ciaran took my hand and led us to the car. He's making a habit out of holding my hand while we're walking. I'm not complaining but the attention we're attracting is almost astronomical. Who could blame them really. A guy like me, who has no presence to speak of whatsoever, is being lead and held on to by a guy like Ciaran, a man who's very presence commands respect and attention. We must look like an odd pair and a novelty to look at.  

I can feel he's trying to hold himself back to do more and I'm glad for it.

I was surprised when he took me to a very quaint French restaurant. I can tell that Ciaran is a regular here by the way the staff is treating him. He urged me to choose the wine so I selected one of my favorites and ordered an appetizer to go with it. We gave the waiter our dinner selection and after that he left us alone.

The place is quiet and since the maître d' placed us on a table away from the other diners the atmosphere feels exclusive, intimate, like we're dining on the restaurant alone.  

Ciaran have been staring at me for a while now and it's getting on my nerves. I don't think he even realize he's doing it.

"What?" I asked blatantly showing my irritation so he'd get the hint and stop staring.

"Sorry," he smirked finally snapping in attention. "It's just that you're full of surprises. And I can't wait to uncover more of your secrets."

I glared at him but he just stared back happily, oblivious of how he was making me feel. I could feel a blush coming on so I gave up trying to intimidate him and brought the wine glass to my lips.

"I have no secrets Ciaran." I answered trying hard not to stutter.

"I beg to differ," the look on his midnight blue eyes changed and his voice sounded deeper, huskier. "Your thoughts, your movements; everything about you is a secret to me and I intend to unravel you Ruari. I intend to know all of you."