Reject (mxm)

Chapter Thirty-Seven: Ruari

will be uploading the next chapter within the next hour so watch out for it. k",)

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I shot up from the bed and immediately looked around me.

The place and its scent around me were familiar. I'm back in Ciaran's cabin.

Was it a dream? A nightmare?

I quickly threw the blankets off of me and ran out the room calling Ciaran's name.

"Ruari," Kevan greeted me by the entrance of the cabin followed by Bran, Sorell and Harkin.

I looked at my brother and realized I wasn't dreaming. This was reality.

No, it can't be!

"Where's Ciaran?" I asked.

None of them answered or met my gaze as they cautiously spread out the room to surround me.

"Answer me!" I bellowed clenching my fists. They all flinched at my tone but still, no one answered.

Kevan took a step forward and held out a hand to me.

"Brother please," he said. "We'll explain everything just calm down."

I eyed him coldly and slapped his hand away.

"Tell me where my mate is or I'd kill you right now," I snarled. But even if they don't tell me I already know.

I could feel it. Ciaran is not here. He's not even anywhere near here.

Images of the attack came rushing through my mind. The pack falling one after another, some fleeing to safety while the others were rounded up like chattel.

I remember Ciaran fighting to defend his people and his land. His black fur was dyed red with blood as he tore through the enemy line. They were coming at him two to three at a time, they wanted to subdue and dominate him, to defeat and capture him.

I reached blindly for the wall to support me, remembering what he did to protect me. I grabbed my head and pulled on my hair feeling the painful twist of my guts. I bit my lip hard enough to draw blood, choking down a sob that wrenched from my throat.

He didn't give me a choice!

He just decided on his own!

Ciaran... Ciaran... Ciaran...

I chanted his name like a lunatic, over and over in my mind. Willing him to come to me, to reassure me that he's safe and alive. I wanted him to hold me, tell me everything's going to be alright. But no matter how much I wish for it I know it won't come true.

They all deserted me...

Ciaran is gone and Rothe had locked himself away within the dark regions of my being. He completely sealed himself off, blocking all my attempts to connect with him.

The separation from Keiron and Ciaran must be too heavy for him to bear. He wants to spare me from the pain and misery he was feeling, to halve the agony we were experiencing.

I understand... This is probably the only way to keep us sane.

I don't know how I managed to drag myself and stumble my way out of the cabin but once outside I collapsed on the cold, damp ground.

"Ciaran!" I screamed on the top of my lungs feeling the earth tremble beneath my fingers. "Ciaran!"

I cried for him, unhindered and unrestrained. The pain was too much I wanted it all to end. But the mark he left on my neck singed my insides reminding me that I'm still alive and there's work to be done.