Reject (mxm)

Chapter Thirty-Three: Ruari

My head hurts. I'm not sure if I heard him right but I'm positive he did say something about being a bastard and referring to the alpha king as our father. But that's impossible. Is it? I mean not being a bastard son but...

Shit, this is absurd! I can't be the son of the alpha king. Illegitimate son. I mean I'm just me, Ruari Lyall. Ulfric. Whatever! Damn it!

I'm just a regular guy. The runt of the pack. The member who couldn't phase when he was supposed to. The one nobody wanted around. I'm an orphan. I had no one. I'm alone in the world or at least I was... I was...

Son of bitch! How do you accept a news like this without having a mental breakdown?

"You don't believe me." Kevan said staring at me blankly.

I stood up and ran a shaking hand through my hair.

Ciaran grabbed my other hand to reassure me that I'm not alone. I bit the inside of my mouth, I hate to do this to him when he'd just trying to help, and slightly shook my head. But Ciaran immediately understood. He instantly deduced that needed some time to digest all this, alone. He gave my hand a light squeeze before letting go. I smiled apologetically at him before pushing away from the table.

I can't sit still. Not after hearing something like that. I need to move. I can't leave the room to go for a run right now but I can at least walk its length and back. Moving around helps me think so I started pacing the room.

It's not really a question of whether I believe what he's saying or not. Because in all actuality, I do believe him. To some degree I think what he's saying is true and that's bothers the shit out of me.

Am I too gullible? Am I that desperate for a family, for blood ties, that I'd believe anything a stranger tells me just because he looks like me?

"This is a lot to take in." I answered honestly. "I've lived for years thinking I was alone and all of a sudden I have a brother and if my guess is correct our well... sire," calling the alpha king 'father' seemed a bit off to me. "Is still alive."

"We happen to have another brother and a sister," Kevan announced. "They're our half-siblings, actually, and unlike us they're legitimate children."

My head whipped back at him. I've always dreamed of having a big family. I loathed the fact that I was alone with no one to care for or look after. Mirabelle was there but I was more dependent of her than she is of me. I've always felt no one really needed me. That I cannot connect with others simply because I did not belong anywhere. I thought that perhaps if I had a family things would be different. And now I have a brother, two brothers to be exact, my sire is alive and a sister...

I looked back at Kevan as his words slowly sink in. Half-siblings he said and they're legitimate while we are not. 

"How did this happen?" I frowned. "How is it possible?"

"Would you like to sit back down?" He asked instead of answering me. "You look like you're about to keel over."

I laughed humorlessly. Try having everything you believed in turn into nothing but lies in the course of a few short hours and see if that doesn't leave mentally drained and physically exhausted. I'm doing great as far I could say, anyone with less backbone would have fainted or run by now.

"I prefer to stand, thank you." I answered stiffly, inclining my head urging him to continue.

"Suit yourself," he shrugged. He leaned back on the chair before starting with the story. "Our father, Lavon Ulfric, was already married and had ascended to the throne for over a year before he met our mother Alessandra, his true mate."