Reject (mxm)

Chapter Twenty-Two: Ruari

I thought it best not to take Jean back to the pack house tonight so I checked her in on a hotel. Thank god Jean's father is a control freak who worries for his daughter's safety a lot. I wouldn't have to worry about her staying in the hotel alone. Jean always has two guards shadowing her movements regardless of where she is.

I'm glad that she's her usual chatty self. We had light dinner at the hotel's restaurant and stayed in the lounge listening to jazz music while catching up before going up to her room. Jean wanted me to stay for the night but I told her I have to go back to the pack house because of Cale. She didn't want to let me go back alone so we settled with me staying until she falls asleep and picking her up first thing in the morning.

"You're sad," Jean said resting her head on my shoulder and molding her body on my side.

 "Why do you say that?" I asked.

"Because your laugh sounded different." She answered hooking one of legs around mine. "It sounded... strained."

I breathed in deeply and untangled myself from her before turning on my side so we'd be facing each other. Jean's really quick on the uptake. I was hoping she wouldn't notice but I really can't hide anything from her.

"It's nothing I can't take care of," I said tucking a lock of hair behind her ears. "Aren't you tired?"

"Don't play with me Ruari." She swatted my hand and frowned. "Tell me."

Shit! Where do I start?

I turned on my back, placed both my hands on the back of my head and stared at the ceiling.

I came back out of loyalty to a woman I regard as my mother and was forced back to Moonscape by my mate who almost drove me insane five years ago because of his brutal rejection. He then proceeded to tell me that there are people out to get me in order to get to him.

He told me he wants me, that he'd win me over. We had one good day and a wonderful night together. I thought we're doing fine. But after a series of unfortunate events he's now trying his best to ignore me because of misplaced jealousy and I'm letting him do what he likes because I'm afraid I'd get rejected again.

Damn! How do you explain all that and still sound sane?

"It's him isn't it?" Jean asked when I didn't say anything. "Whenever you're acting weird it always has something to do with him."

Jean knows everything that happened five years ago. If it weren't for her I don't think I would survived that first year I went away and had to deal with the consequences of not being with my mate. She pulled me through those dark days and it hurts her when I become sad or get hurt over Ciaran.

"It's too complicated to explain," I said honestly. "I can't find the words and don't know where to start."

"Do you still love him?" Jean asked sitting astride on top of me.

I smiled sadly and traced the line of her face with my fingers," If I knew how to stop I would done so already. You know that Jean..."

She leaned in to my touch and moved forward to rest her head over my heart.

"Did he do something to upset you again?" She asked gritting her teeth. "Because if he did..."

"Hush, he didn't do anything." I murmured wrapping my arms tightly around her. "I think I'm the one who did something to upset him."

She raised her head to look at me, her green eyes boring through mine. "And that's what's making you sad isn't it?"

"Maybe," I answered. "I don't really know."