When You Came || Namjin

21. "I'm Sad"

Didn't know why, but jin was feeling like absolute shit today. It was late evening and something was off. And it was so annoying because he didn't know what! Ugghhh! How frustrating!

He felt like crying. Jiyoo wasn't home, neither was namjoon. Jin had to go to attend a conference trip tomorrow which would last for a week, that's why he was given a day off. This made him even sadder. Of course he loved his job and loved knowing about the world of cure. But at the same time, he didn't know why he suddenly didn't want to go. He would miss jiyoo and joon. He knew that but now it was bothering him more than before.

And before he could control himself, silent tears rolled down his cheeks as he slouched on the black leather couch. He felt like a pregnant lady. But at the same time, he didn't. Because he had heard that women tend to eat weird shit during their pregnancies, and he surely didn't feel like eating anything. Even then, him being pregnant was impossible. Sure, he had known about male pregnancies but they were really rare. Like, a male could get pregnant once in three blue moons. Yeah, he wasn't pregnant.

Since it was Sunday , jiyoo had no school and was gone to play with taekook in the yoonminseok's apartment. She wouldn't be able to meet taekook for a while. He knew this because taehyung had told him about going to Las Vegas for jae's stuttering problem. And Jin thought it was absolutely ridiculous because it was somewhat common for some kids his age to stutter, he would learn eventually. But at the same time, he thought it was kind of good that they were willing to consult a specialist and ensure that there wasn't any serious issue. They were good parents.

Good parents. Suddenly, jin let out a loud sob. He tried to stop more cries from falling off of his chest but failed to do so. He sobbed like no end. Silently praying that namjoon doesn't enter suddenly. He thought about how he wasn't doing a good job as jiyoo's parent. That, obviously, wasn't true but who would tell that to Jin. Then he thought that he wasn't even jiyoo's parent yet. He hadn't adopted her with namjoon, neither were him and namjoon married for him to be even unofficially the child's dad.

Another issue. Namjoon has never talked to him about marriage. Never had he ever mentioned about wanting to marry him one day. Jin knew that he shouldn't think like that but he couldn't help himself. Namjoon had only expressed his love for him once or twice which didn't help at all. He was beginning to doubt everything namjoon had ever said, ever done for him. What if he left him after he knew about his secret? Namjoon was so nice to him. What if all of this was a lie? What if he never truly loved him? What if he was like Eun- No no no! He wanted to beat himself and assure that whatever he was thinking was totally wrong. But he couldn't do it. So, he just curled into a ball with a cushion and cried and cried and cried until he fell asleep in a pool of his tears. Eyes red and burning. Head killing him. But his eyes remained shut as his lips trembled with silent cries, even in his sleep. And only one name in his psyche.

"Namjoon..."

_____________________________________

Namjoon got out off his car, rubbing his temples. It was a particularly stressful day at work today. And the young man wanted nothing more than cuddling with his boyfriend and eventually falling asleep in each other's arms. A warm smile made its way on his lips.

He rang the bell numerous times but jin didn't answer. He furrowed his eyebrows and pulled out his own keys from his back pocket. Yeah, he could've done that before but he wanted to see jin the moment he entered the house. It saddened him a bit that Jin didn't open the door, perhaps, he didn't hear the bell or maybe he was already asleep as it was past 10 at night.

He slowly slid inside and shut the door behind him making barely any noise. He removed his coat and put his brief case aside.

He reached the living room when he saw his boyfriend curled up on the sofa. He smiled softly, his partner was so cute! He nudged his way towards the shorter man and sat down beside his legs. After few minutes of stroking Jin's feet, namjoon heard a sound. More like a whimper?

"Jin", he called out. Seokjin didn't stir. So, namjoon moved closer to the male and he was shocked when he saw his tear stained face. "Oh my god", namjoon whisper-yelled. "Jin, Baby, wake up", namjoon called out and rested Jin's head on his thigh, stroking his cheek softly. Jin whimpered and scooted closer to the younger, burying his face in Namjoon's side, still not opening his eyes.

"Babe, wake up, what happened?", namjoon asked worriedly. Jin's eyes suddenly fluttered open as he watched namjoon with wide eyes. He quickly shot up, startling namjoon.

"Honey, are y-", namjoon was tackled in a tight hug before he could complete himself. He fell straight onto the couch on his back. He tried getting up but Jin's weight held him down. Suddenly he realized that Jin was crying. So, he wrapped his arms around the elder protectively. Seokjin wasn't crying out loud, but he was sobbing silently, shaking in Namjoon's assuring hold. His hiccups and whimpers were barely audible even in the silence of their house. Namjoon's brows creased together as he looked down at his boyfriend. The man was sobbing in his chest, he felt teardrops wet his favourite dress shirt, but he didn't care. All he cared about was Seokjin. The man in front of him.

Namjoon's heart hurt to see him like that. He was worried. He couldn't think of what might've happened when he was away. Did Jin get hurt? Did something happen to him? Did something bad happen? All this thoughts passed through his mind.

After sometime of being in Namjoon's hold, jin got up slowly, looking down.
Namjoon scooped him in his arms, resting his chin on his shoulder.

"What happened?", namjoon asked carefully, voice soft, letting his boyfriend know that he was there to help him with anything. "I'm sad", Jin mumbled with a soft voice, slightly shaky. Namjoon huffed out a large breath, he didn't know he was holding.

Joon hummed, securing his hold around the elder and pulling him closer, inhaling his soothing scent.

"What made you sad, darling?"

"You."