A Twist Of Fate

Chapter 10

A few weeks later I asked Regina if she would like to have a sleepover with Angelica at her house. She was a little nervous at first but I told her everything would be fine. She's been visiting every day. She knows Angie so well by now and she absolutely loves her auntie. "Ok Regina. I've packed about 5 of everything except for diapers. There about 25 of those just in case. This is her travel crib. It's a very easy set up. I showed you earlier. She has jars of food. I few bananas. Just mush it up a little up and she will feed it to herself. Clean bottles, a new can of her formula. If you forget how much to put in just read the directions on the back". I know I'm being a little repetitive because we went over this the other day but I want her to feel comfortable with Angie. "Ok. I think that's everything. Any questions?"  "No. I think we are good. You put her car seat base in my car right?"   "Yup and you'll hear a click when you put the seat in it correctly. So listen for that".  "Ok. I think that's everything. Are you sure your ready for a night without your daughter?"  "Regina I need to tell you something before you go. I've really been dreading this day for a long time. It's not so much about the sleepover". I take a moment to collect myself because I know I'm going to cry. "Today is mine and Zelena's Wedding anniversary". Tears fill my eyes but I fight them from falling. "I'm sorry that I sort of pushed you into taking Angelica for the night. I'd just really like to take some time to look at some pictures and watch our wedding video". Regina gives me a hug. "It's ok Emma. You do what you need to do tonight. I will take very good care of my niece but promise me you won't do anything stupid like drive or get alcohol poisoning".  "I promise I won't. I'm all my baby girl has left besides you. Thank you for tonight".  "You are very welcome. Call me or text me later if you want to ok?  I'm here for you. I know in the past I ruined our friendship but I hope I'm on the road to repairing it now".  "Yes. Yes you are. I'm so happy I've had you here with us". I go to pick up Angie from her playpen and give her a big hug. "Ok baby girl. You are going to spend the night with auntie Regina. Please be a good girl for her. Mama really needs this night". I walk over to the couch and give her one last hug and a few kisses. Then I put her into the car seat and lock her in. "Ok Regina you ready?"  "Yes. Let's go". I walk them out to Regina's car. I let her put the car seat in so she can hear when it's locked in place. "Ok it's good". She says. I hand her the diaper bag and the extra bag of, Well just about everything she could need. "So your all set?"   "Yes Emma. Everything will be fine".  "Thank you again for this".  "No need to thank me just be careful tonight".  I smile and nod. She hugs me then gets in her car. I watch them drive away. I turn and look at my house. My empty house. I slowly walk back inside and head downstairs to my Emma cave. I go to my bar and get a beer and I do a shot of fireball. I grab my beer, take the bottle of fireball and the glass. Then I go over to my theatre style couch and sit. I put everything on the coffee table. I pour myself another shot and down it. Then I turn on the tv. I start the dvd. This is the first time I've watched this since she's been gone. She's not even on the screen yet but I hear her laugh in the background and I just lose it right there. I have to pause the video for a little while to cry. Why the fuck did this have to happen. No one ever deserves this shit. I calm down and continue watching the video. I finally see her. My beautiful wife with her beautiful red hair. "Oh Zelena my love. I miss you every day". I say out loud to the tv. I continue watching. I'm crying the whole time. I watch us make our vows then the we kiss. Is still remember the feel of the kiss. Why is this so damn hard?  When the video is over I put on some music. I start off with our wedding song of course. She knew how much I love Elvis Presley so she was the one that suggested "Can't Help Falling In Love With You". I loved the idea right away. The rest of the songs just mushed together. I sang along with them but I won't remember most of them in the morning or afternoon or whenever I wake up. I have no idea how many beers or shots I've had so I decided to sleep right where I was. I made sure the music was on repeat and the wedding video was on repeat and then I eventually fell asleep. I didn't do anything bad. I didn't hurt myself. All I did was get drunk and cry. I think that's ok. Some psychiatrists may think otherwise but I don't do this all the time so, whatever. My punishment will be a hangover and I'll deal with that. A while later I feel my shoulder being shaken. "Emma. Emma. Come on Emma wake up".  "What?  Leave me alone". I know it's my mom telling me to wake up. How did she get in?  "Emma. Damn it. Wake up. I've been calling your phone for hours. Wake up". I quickly sit up. And that's when my head begins to pound. "Shit mom. What do you want?"   "Your father and I have been calling you for hours".  "What time is it? What's wrong? Is it Angelica?"   "What? No Emma. I called Regina. She is safe and sound".  "Then What the hell is the emergency?"  "There is no emergency. I was worried about you that's all".  "You have got to kidding me. I'm fucking fine". I shout out. "Emma please calm down".  "No. You need to calm down. I understand that your trying to help me but you are definitely not. You want me to heal on your timeline. That is not how this works. This was my first wedding anniversary without my wife. I wanted to take time to remember her. Remember the love we shared. I didn't do anything wrong. I watched our wedding video and listened to some of our favorite love songs. I also made sure that my daughter was safe. She spent the night with Regina, who has been there more for me than you have. So what. I had a little to much to drink. I wasn't going to drive and possibly hurt myself or someone else. I slept right here on my couch in my home. A home that right now you not welcomed in".  "Emma. What are you saying?"  She asks with tears in her eyes. "I'm saying that you have no idea what I'm going through. You think you are helping me but your doing it wrong. So from now on I really don't want to see you. I need to work on myself and my daughter so we can have a good life. I can't be who you want me to be. I won't hold back my tears because I hear something that reminds me of Zelena. I won't stop talking about her to Angelica. She may be gone but my daughter still needs to, no she deserves to know who her mommy is and I'll be damned if I let you take that away because I'm not healing the way you want me to. You may go now. Mary Margaret".  "Emma I ".  "I said you can leave now".