T h i r s t

e l e v e n

Minor time jump.

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"I can't remember the last time I was this comfy." I whispered, still circling my fingers in his hair. All of my muscles were absolutely relaxed, and his quiet breaths against my neck were punctuated with tender kisses.

"That's what happens when you're uptight."

"I am not!" I protested, looking down at him and he raised his eyebrows, proving his point.

"Ok, yes. I can be a little uptight sometimes."

"Uptight and just . . . tight."

"Ryan!" I chuckled. He kissed my neck again, tittering. "It's a compliment, babe. You fit me like a glove."

"I'm the glove to your penis? Is that the metaphor you're going with?"

"Why? You want something like air to my lungs? Wind beneath my wings?"

"Not if they're all wind related."

He chuckled, laying an open mouthed kiss on my neck.

We lay like that for some more time, until the doorbell rang.

I groaned. "Don't go."

But he was already up, sat at the edge of the bed and pulling his boxers on. I crept over, at the cost of losing comfort and wrapped my arms around him, hugging his back.

"You're so warm." I breathed, kissing his neck.

"I'll be right back."

"Stay. Whoever it is will go away after a minute."

"If it's this late, it's important."

"Or a murderer." I grinned, nibbling on his earlobe. It made him chuckle, but it wasn't enough to make him stay.

"I'll be right back." He breathed and walked out of the room. I lay back in bed and threw the quilt over me, hugging myself to keep warm. I heard the front door creak open and indistinct conversation follow. I figured it was his landlord or something.

I gazed straight up at the ceiling, at the shadows the lamps made, counting the seconds. I could still hear hushed voices, but they started to get agitated. And then I heard crying.

I sat up with a jolt, grabbing his shirt and pulling it on. I walked up to the living room, as quietly as possible. I saw him first, hunched over someone else and holding their shoulders.

It was a woman.

She looked to be around his age and she was sobbing, shivering.

"I miss you." She was spluttering, trying to pull him closer.

"Jennifer, Jennifer . . ." He was saying in a gentle voice, trying to calm her down.

"I want you back. Come back to me . . ." She sobbed, collapsing into his arms. I shifted, and that caught her eye.

She stilled at once and straightened up, staring at me with a frown.

"Who is that?"

I threw a nervous glance at him, but Ryan looked dumbfounded. Did he not want me to see her?

"You won't call me back, but you're having whores over?"

"Jennifer!" He growled, which made me jump. I held on to the wall on my side, backing away.

"Who is she, Ryan?" She stressed, clenching her jaw.

"Stay here." He told her and walked over to me, gently holding my waist.

I tilted away.

"Go home, ok? I'll talk to you tomorrow."

I could have demanded an explanation right there. But I knew better than to make his life harder.

"Okay." I swallowed.

He fished around for keys in the bowl and handed me his car keys.

"Call me when you get home, please."

I nodded, gripping the keys and throwing a glance to her. She was watching me, giving me a once, twice, thrice over.

Ryan noticed and walked me behind the wall.

He sighed, cupping my face. "I know things seem bad, but I need you to trust me, ok?"

I searched his eyes for strength, for anything he could give me, and I found it.

"Ok." I whispered, and he leaned down to kiss my forehead. He held that way for a moment, before whispering "Thank you." into my hair.

"Call or text, please." He called after me as I slid along the opposite wall to where she was standing, my eyes down. I'd rather be wearing my clothes instead of only his flannel shirt, but I didn't want to be there any longer than I absolutely had to.

I gave him one last look with a small smile, closed the door behind me and left.

The drive back was short, and fairly easy because the streets were empty and I posed no threat to life or property with my half attention.

She was an ex. She had to be. Ryan had never been open about the women he had dated before me. I spoke about my ex-boyfriends at cost to my own dignity to get him to open up, but he never did.

I miss you. Come back to me.

That's what you said to an ex. Judging by the level of desperation, they must've been together for quite a long time.

So why wouldn't he tell me?

I sighed and shut the engine off, absentmindedly going up to my apartment. Was it because it had ended badly and was too painful to relive? Or was it because he didn't want me to know he's been in a committed relationship before and didn't see that happening with me?

I didn't like either train of thought.

So I raided the cabinets for any food I could stuff my face with and drown my sorrows into. You know, comfort food.

My desperation made me reach for the top cabinets, and the action brought the sleeve of his plaid shirt right underneath my nose.

It still smelled like him.

I inhaled deeply in the beginning, but found my stance and stripped it off, standing in my kitchen only in my panties.

Oh, how I missed the single life.

It's not that I still couldn't walk around my apartment naked when he was around, it just defeated the purpose. I did it to feel free and restriction-less. He took it as an invitation for doing it. And I couldn't blame him.

After several contenders, I chose ice cream as the victor and dug into the ice cream tub. Plain old vanilla. Nothing wrong with that.

I sat at the island counter and downed the calories, passing it down the gullet before even tasting it. That turned out to be a horrible idea because I got very cold very fast. I left to put on a tank top and socks, before returning to the eating.

I let the Instagram stories play as I ate, barely paying any attention. Because there was nothing new. It was just my high school friends flaunting a spouse or a child. Maybe Ryan and I should get a dog.

From the surprises he's throwing out, be probably lied about liking dogs too.

I groaned into the spoon full of diabetes. Putting it off wouldn't do me any good. I was going to have to think about it eventually so why not now?

I heard a knock at the door and walked over to open it.

"You didn't text."

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