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Brkn

I wake up to Lucas changing. I watch him silently. He looks like a Greek god. I see Lucas start to turn around and I close my eyes and pretend to sleep. I feel the bottom of the bed dip in. I feel Lucas's hands tickle my toes. I laugh and I pull my feet away. "Good morning beautiful." "Good morning." I say while hugging him. Lucas tightens his grip and I think he just smelled my hair. "You're being weird. You just smelled my hair." He shrugs while saying "I wanted to make sure I didn't forget it." He thinks to him self out loud and says "mmm strawberries." I scrunch up my nose. "Stop you're being weird."
"Do you still want to house sit for me. Please?" He practically begs with a cheesy smile. "Lucas!" I groan getting louder and louder. Lucas mocks me. "Maya" "it's creepy here alone." "Call me every night before you go to bed so I can make sure you have a good nights rest."I laugh.

"How about this I'll house sit if you get em a coffee." Lucas shakes my hand.

I put on a random hoodie out of Lucas's closet and some slippers. I quickly brush my teeth then make my way downstairs.

As soon as i open the door Lucas engulfs me into his arms. I groan "Get off of me." Lucas ignores me and kisses the top of my head even though my hood is up. I finally hug him back after resisting. "You happy." "Luckiest boy alive." I pull away and walk to his car.

He comes back with my exact order. "Thanks." "You're welcome." I start to fall asleep on the way to Lucas's.

I wake up to Lucas shaking my shoulder saying "Wake up sleeping beauty I still have to go to the airport."

We walk to the the lobby and he hands me a key. "Thank you Maya." I just smile. He wraps me in his arms and I bury my face in his chest. "You love me. Just admit it. You love me just as much as you did when we first started this." I push him away "shut up."

As I open the door Lucas pulls my arm back. He gives me a peck and says. "I love you too." "Don't do that." He smirks while shaking his head. "We'll talk when I get back. Also watch my car." I nod as he walks out the door.

As soon as Lucas leaves I go to his room and I post a video for music Monday of the lyrics to my intro song on my upcoming album

Mayahart_ just a little sneak peak for what's in store. Pre order my album. Out Friday July 19

I call Lucas quickly trying to make sure I get t him before his plane leaves.

L- Hey
M- hi

There is a long pause

L- is there something you want to say
M- I love you but only a little
I hear him laugh a little
L- I wish I could kiss you right now. I love you too
M- woah we still need to have that convo. Don't go around saying thing like that to me cowboy
L- I love you I'll call you back when I land okay?
M- Okay

I decide to go out with Riley and Farkle to kill sometime. We all go out for sorbet at 9:00 by 11:00 we are at a park delusional and talking about our feelings. Farkle suddenly looks at me and says "So what going on with you and Lucas?" "I don't even know anymore. It's like I want him then I don't. It's like a glass wall is in between us and neither of us will let down our guard. And its been like this for a while so now I just feel like our relationship is a waste of time. But enough about me." Everyone goes silent. It stays like this for a while. "You know what I'm just going to go."

Riley and Farkle both scramble to get up on their feet. "I guess we'll get going to then." We get to the parking lot and I say "Hey guys?" They turn around and both look at me. "Can you just not tell Lucas before he gets back I'd rather tell him in person." Riley speaks up and says "Tell him what are you going to break up with him?"

I shrug my shoulders. "We'll see what happens." Riley sighs before saying "I don't want to control your life but your happiest with Lucas. I've never seen you this happy before." I nod while saying "Good night Farkle, Riley."

I get to Lucas's and as soon as I enter he calls "Hey Maya." "Hi Lucas." I say trying to make the most genuine smile. "What's wrong?" "We'll talk when you get here. I'm going to bed okay." He furrows his eyebrows in confusion. "Goodnight Lucas." "Goodnight Maya.I love you." I hang up before he an say anything else.

It's official. I'm broken. No matter how much love someone shows me it will never be enough.