Before The Next Tears Falls (StudentxTeacher)

I'm here now.

Thoughts in bold and/or italics.

Chapter 13

Anika's POV

"Are you okay, Anika? Not just physically but mentally too," Christian asked, looking at me.

Am I okay?

No, I'm not. I'm depressed, I have anxiety, my biggest fear is rejection, I don't want to tell anyone, but at the same time I want to tell you, I need someone to hug me and tell me everything will be ok. I just want to explode and let everything out, but I can't. I thought to myself.

"I'm fine, thanks for asking. Just tired, you know?" I said, lying through my teeth.

He picked up a pillow and put it on his lap.

"Come lay down for a bit Ani, it will help I promise," he said, helping me.

I put my head down on the pillow and closed my eyes being comforted by his cologne and him playing with my hair

"Darling, I know you are far from being ok. I know your hurting, you don't have to fake a smile around me," he said

Next thing you know, I started bawling my eyes out. He quickly lifted me up and put me on his lap, so I'm straddling him.

"Shhh baby it's ok I'm here," he said wiping away my tears

I laid my head on his shoulder and just cried.

As he was rocking me and playing with my hair, I ended up falling asleep.

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After I woke up, I realised I was still straddling Christian, and we were still in school.

It felt like Christian was reading my mind because he told me he rang the headteacher and told him I was doing an assessment.

"Um, Christian can I get back in my chair, please? My knees are starting to hurt" I said.

"Of course Anika, I was gonna put you back in the chair, but you looked so peaceful, and you looked like you needed that sleep," he said as he was putting me down.

Do I tell him, or do I not? I thought.

Ummmmm Christian, I need to tell you something, but you might wanna sit down for this," I said fidgeting with my sleeve

"Umm sure," he said, sitting down and holding my hands.

"I self-harm," I said, getting straight to the point.

Christian's pov

"I self-harm," she said, looking straight into my eyes.

"Can I see?" I asked her my voice shaking a little.

I knew she was hiding something but not this. I thought worried about her

"Ummm yes you can, but I need help rolling up my sleeve," she said, leaning over so I can roll up her sleeves.

All over her arms, there are thousands of scars scattered all over. Small, big, old, and new. I carefully traced one of her scars, and she got goosebumps all over her arm.

"Can I ask why you do it? " I asked her softly.

"Well, to begin with, the first-ever time I cut it wasn't even deep. It was like the others, a subtle line of blood dripping down my arm, just enough to hush the voices around me and the voices telling me I'm not good enough. Then I carried on self-harming because I felt guilty of the pain I was causing on my family. At the end I now cut because I like the pain, I like seeing the blood trickle down my arm. Each scar is also every time someone has told me I'm not good enough. I don't do it because I wanna die, but because I want the pain to stop." She said without crying.

I didn't even know what to say to her, so I just got up and hugged her really tight.

"I'm here now Anika. I won't let anyone hurt you. I promise you. I said, being deadly serious.

Author's note: sorry this is short just trying to get more chapters written.

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