Sail Away With Me (Rory McCann)

Foundations

Tori had been in the hospital for two weeks before they allowed her to leave. During that time she and Rory had hardly spoken about anything of much importance. Most of their time was sent in painful silence as she tried not to cry in front of him. Wmily had also stuck around to try and keep her company.

When they left the hospital, her arm and leg in a cast with instructions to come back in couple of weeks for a check up, they trio returned to the rental just outside the city. Emily had already picked up on the tension between the couple and left for the rest of the afternoon to give them some space.

"You need anything?' Rory asked Tori when he had finished helping her upstairs and into bed.

Tori only shuck her head and turned on to her side, away from him.

"I was thinking maybe we could talk? We don't need to rush into making plans for what to do next, but you've hardly spoken a word".

"Is there anything to really talk about? What's happened has happened, no amount of talking is going to change anything".

Rory let out deep sigh and sat down on the side of the bed. Placing his hand on her hip, he gave itna gently squeeze to try and show some leave of affection. "You're still here Tori, you're still alive. We have to focus on that".

Slowly, Tori moved to sit up in bed and face him. The look in her eyes causing a cold chill to run down his spine. "I can't, I can't do any of this. Everything has changed now Rory and it will never go back to how it was".

"Sure it can. I mean it gonna take some time, but we can get through this together".

"Why?"

"What do you mean why?" He asked back with a look of confusion now.

"Why should we try. Our entire relationship was built on the foundations of me falling pregnant. It caused this to move faster than it would of in normal circumstances. Hell, we probably wouldn't even be back together if I hadn't of got pregnant and now I'm not. We lost that chance to be a family, it was taken from us".

"We can still be family. I still love you".

Tori sighed and dropped her head into her hands. "I love you too Rory, but things are different now. The foundations haven't just cracked, they've completely split in two. We can't come back from this and I'm not sure I even want them too. Everytime I look at you and this house, it's full of what could have been. Its fucking breaking heart".

"I'm not having this conversation" he snapped and moved from the bed.

"You wanted to talk Rory" she called back to him as he got to the door.

"Not about this, not about us breaking up. I won't do it T, I can't fucking lose the baby and now you".

"Rory, please just think about it for a second. Think about what I said, would we really be here if I hadn't of got pregnant. Can you really look at me and not think about what we lost. We've only been together a handful of months, a relationship years strong would struggle with this. I don't want to watch us carry on and grow to despise each other. I want to remember us being happy, in love".

"And we still can be!" He shouted which caused her to flinch back in the bed.

He didn't wait for her to respond this time and left the room with the slam of the door behind him. For the rest of the day she stayed in bed, huddled under the covers as she cried herself in and out of sleep. Rory never came back to the room and as the light from the sun outside faded away there was a soft knock at her door.

"What time is it?" She asked when he turned around in bed and saw Emily walking over to the bed.

"8" she smiled softly.

"Is Rory?"

"He left earlier on and hasn't come back yet. He seemed pretty pissed".

Sighing, Tori told her everything that had happened earlier on. Even though Emily didn't agree with how her mind was processing everything, she could understand why her friend would be feeling this way.

"You know I've got your back no matter what" she reassured her.

"Good, because I need you. I need to leave his house. Being her, its driving me mad and it's not even been a day. It's full of ghosts and I can't cope Emily, I just can't" she began to cry.

Quickly, Emily reached out for her friend and held her tightly as the cries  turned to sobs. "What do you want to do".

"I want to leave... straight away. Rory will only make it harder and I can't go around in circles with him, he just won't understand. He had family in Glasgow and friends near by, he had a support network, he'll be okay with time".

"You want to leave now. Without seeing him one last time? Are you sure about this?"

"No, but it's the only thing I can think to do and I need to do something. I'll leave him a letter. Can you help me pack whilst I write it?"

"Okay" she nodded, knowing now was not the time to question her judgement. She needed to be supportive.

So as Emily packed their things and found the next train for London, Tori grabbed some paper and a pen. When they had finished it was nearly 10pm and they had just enough time to get the 11:30 train. Rory had still not returned home, so with a heavy heart, Tori placed the letter down on the kitchen table and tried to  ot question whether she was doing the right thing.

Dear Rory,

By the time you are reading this Emily and I will be gone.

I'm sorry to have to leave this way, but I knew if I waited for you to come back I would never have to strength to go. I can't say for sure if leaving is the right thing, but I need to do something and this feels like my only choice. I cannot stay here and watch as we become more and more distant. I want to look back at our time together and remember the warmth between us.

I still love you and that will probably  never change, but even love cannot hold two people together through something like this.

I hope in time you will come to understand my reasoning and perhaps even forgive me. I will never be able to express how sorry I am for all the pain and hurt inhale caused you.

You were and will always be the great love of my life.

T x