𝐂𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐀𝐈𝐍 * ˚ ✦ 𝑳. 𝑨𝑪𝑲𝑬𝑹𝑴𝑨𝑵

𝙉𝙄𝙉𝙀

【 N I N E 】

𝗖𝗔𝗣𝗧𝗔𝗜𝗡 [ 𝗟𝗘𝗩𝗜 𝗔𝗖𝗞𝗘𝗥𝗠𝗔𝗡 ]

i immediately rushed to my bathroom as i took a bath when Mikasa knocked on my door and all captains are now needed to the meeting room. i didn't waste anymore time as i jumped into my regular uniform, brushed my teeth and started combing my hair before running to the hall. i knocked on the meeting hall and once i opened it, all eyes lingered on me.

i gave out a small, faint smile before closing the door behind me. everyone is in the room now, with Eren.

"You're late, Captain Y/N."

"Sorry, Commander Erwin."

i sat beside Hanji and Levi and i already felt the awkwardness in the air. i can smell Levi's manly smell and i can't help but to blush, remembering what happened a week ago after my first titan training.

"Back to what we were discussing, we will now launch our 59th expedition outside Wall Rose. And probably try our luck on retaking Wall Maria using our two new specimens, Eren and Y/N."

maybe, specimen isn't the right term for it, Commander.

"And I'm hoping that you will do your best to lessen the casualties and make orders to make our mission easier. Please captains, this expedition is now on your hands."

why does it feels like commander is already giving us his last will? and no mission is easy.

"Levi, Hanji, Mike and Y/N, this game is on our hands. Remember to make signals and never break our formation and just focus on our goal. We don't want coming back again on our wall, facing the ground and carrying our comrades dead bodies, right?"

"Right!" everyone shouted except from me.

"Captain Y/N, are you listening?"

"Y-Yes!"

"Do you have a problem? It looks like you're spacing out." 

i looked at my commander before taking a deep sigh. i felt someone squeezed my left hand and i saw that it was Levi. i gave him a smile before speaking up.

"I-I'm just...nervous. All week long, I've been trying to improve my titan skills and I'm admitting that I have a progress. But what if I fail this time? I can't bear sparing my comrades life for me. This is my first expedition on my fully titan form and please, I'm begging everyone of you here..."

i trailed off before looking at each person's faces inside the room.

"...if I go berserk and out of control, don't hesitate to kill me. Please. Don't risk any life for me---"

"What the hell are you saying, brat? You won't go berserk and no one will kill you."

"Stop it, Levi. I'm just stating the truth."

i took a deep breath before looking down but Levi seemed to continue to formed tension in the air and i can't help but to give in.

"Well your truth is bullshit! You will go back here with me after that expedition, brat. You heard me. No one is allowed to hurt you---"

"Don't prioritize me, Levi! Prioritize your soldiers! They're more productive and bigger help than me. Thus, I'm a captain. I'm willing to offer my life for everybody!"

"Stop with your idiotic reasoning and just prepare yourself for battle, stupid!"

i stood up from my seat, letting go of Levi's hand. i can't control myself anymore.

"I'm preparing that's why I'm saying this! I'm already clearing this to all of you!"

"You're dumb, Y/N! You're dumb! As if I'll let anyone to hurt you—"

"Let them hurt me because I can't take it if I will kill my own comrades' lives! Kill me before I started killing your soldiers!"

"Y/N, Levi, cut if off!"

"Stay out of this, Hanji idiot. Stay out of this." 

Levi shoot a killer look at Hanji before taking a tight grip on my arm and even though i tried to free myself, to no avail, i can't. he's too strong for me.

"Let's talk somewhere private, Y/N before I couldn't control myself anymore."

then he dragged me out of the meeting hall without me noticing his tears forming in his eyes.

【 N I N E 】