12BU || Chanlix [Completed]

forty

After so many days...

Wanting. Wishing. Waiting.

I realized something.

I don't want to be you.

You're jealous, possessive, aggressive, selfish, and have no sense of trust. You're the worst.

After hiding how I feel for so long, just so that you wouldn't hate me, I came to find out that it doesn't matter what I do. You're still you.

Being you would be horrible.

I'd be delusional enough to break up with the most perfect boy in the world.

And when the most perfect boy in the world wanted to be nice and return what was rightfully my friend's, I'd go through his personal journal, I'd even go as far as to hit my friend so hard he has a bruise on his face for days because he has feelings that he can't control. I'd be that horrible of a friend.

Stupid enough to blame my best friend, who's struggling enough as it is, for everything that was my fault. And when he finally called me out for my bullshit, I'd even go as far as to tear him a new one just because he has morals and is tired of being a good friend to someone who keeps constantly treating like shit.

I'd manipulate my best friend into thinking that he ruined my relationship twice.

That he deserved to die because he told the most perfect boy in the world that I was cheating on him.

I'd put my best friend in the hospital.

After I made him cry, after I made him have a mental breakdown, after I made him so afraid of ruining my relationship he'd just rather never talk to me again.

That's what I would do if I was you.

Thank god l'm me instead.

Because when I'm me I have the most perfect boy in the world wrapped in my arms. We watch movies and cuddle and go on dates and hang out and enjoy each other. We have supportive friends.

When I'm me I have the most perfect boy in the world's unconditional love, and he has mine.

When I'm me I don't need you.