Happily Ever After? [Nagikae AU]

Chapter 24: A Civil Talk

We sat on a bench at a nearby park to talk. And I, was incredibly uncomfortable. But that's a given I guess.

"I didnt say anything to anyone." She squeaked.

Hearing her voice be so nervous made a shiver run up my spine. Oh God, this is the worst I've felt in so long.

"I know." I replied quickly, pausing for a brief minute. "So, how are you?"

"Oh well I'm just dandy." She smiled.

Her smile made me feel a bit of relief, but only for a second.

"But, Nagisa, I have one question. Do you actually like me? I know, I know a stupid question but this only the beginning."

I looked at her in shock, but a little bit of embarrassment. She was wondering if I liked her? Couldn't help but to make me blush a little bit.

"Of course. I wouldn't have agreed to go to Kyoto with you I didn't. "

"That's nice to know, and honestly, I like  you too, like a lot. But the whole assassin thing is a bit of a dealbreaker."

I looked to the ground. "Ah, I guess that makes sense."

We sat in silence for a little bit, which wasn't awkward at all for some reason.

"Nagisa, how does it feel to take a life. Is there some sort of satisfaction or pride, maybe anger, sadness... nothing?"

"O-oh, really gonna go for it, huh?" I twiddle my fingers for a second, this was uncomfortable. "Well, I dont know. It's not satisfaction of pride, anger, nor sadness. But it's also not nothing, it's much more than that."

I held a short purse to sort my thoughts and feelings on the subject.

"I usually try not to think about it, in all honesty. That's what gets the job done since I'm not a psychopath."

"How does that work?"

"Well, I dont know. But if I could try to sum up the feeling, I guess I would choose hurt. I mean, I'm a still just a teen. I go to highschool, do my homework, I have friends and family, and even have someone I like. The only difference is how I earn money. That's it."

Kaede sighed and leaned back of the bench, staring upward towards a murder of crows.

"That makes sense." She glanced over to me. "But it's still hard to see you being an assassin, because I cant see you like that. When I think of you, I think cute, loving, warm, so nice and someone who works hard."

I smiled, my face heating up a bit. "Yeah well, those things can learn to co-exist." My smile dropped. "But, Kaede, can ask you if you'd still like to be friends? We dont have to be anything more, but I cant imagine living without you."

Kaede looked at me and reached for my hand. You could see her blush as she did so.

"I need time. I cant be around you right now. You honestly kinda scare me. And listen, I know I'm being unreasonable, you wouldn't hurt me in anyway, shape, or form on purpose..."

I grabbed onto her hand and sat back on the bench, I've been so tense this entire time.

"I get it. You dont have to explain yourself. You can take another week, month, even a whole year. But when you're ready, just... start talking. Talk about anything, I'll listen to you."

She squeezed my hand tightly before getting up. "Well, I guess I'll see you when I can rationalize my thoughts on you."

I smiled and let go of her hand. As she walked away it hit me.

I scare her. Currently. Right now she must have been so afraid, but even so she held my hand and talked so calmly.

Shes such a wonderful person. She's trying so hard because she wants to be my friend again, maybe more though, I didnt get a clear answer on that.

I felt like a jittery school girl, she did say she liked me. Even I said I like her, and first too.

I giggled, this was gonna be fine. I'd see her eventually, and talk to normally too. That alone, without everything else, made me so happy.