Just The Way You Like It - Under Construction

Chapter Twenty-Two

Chapter Thirty-One

Nurse Tess was just beginning to recover from her laughing fit, and finally managed to speak. “Oh-ho-ho, that was priceless Dear. The look on your face! I have to tell you this is just perfect!”

“What is so funny?” Alice asked, not sure if Tess had completely lost her mind.

“Oh, I have just so worried about Dr. Hansen lately, and now here you come along and sweep him right off his own two feet. It's just like in my romance novels. I never thought I'd see the day Blake fell in love!”

“Do you really think he loves me? We've only just met.” Guilt started to surface under Alice's skin. She knew they both cared fondly for one another, but love was a strong, and all too powerful word. Alice began to worry that she had been giving Dr. Hansen the wrong ideas. She still didn't remember a thing about herself, who she was, where she grew up, nothing. How could someone love her if he didn't know a thing about her? This was all moving just a little too fast for Alice. Maybe moving in with him wasn't the best idea after all. Alice knew she wanted to spend time with Dr. Hansen, get to know him and herself better. But, she didn't want to make Dr. Hansen think that she was ready for a relationship, because she certainly wasn't.

“Alice,” Tess began, answering her question. “I've known Blake for years, and I've never seen him look at anyone the way he just looked at you. You've got him wrapped up tight, you do.”

“I don't want him to think like that. I just, I don't know. It's all too fast.”

“Well Dear, don't worry too much. You've got at least another week or so here, that’s plenty of time to think it over. Spend some time with him, get to know him. He's a good man Dear, any girl would be lucky to have him.”

“I know. Thank you Tess, you always know what to say.”

“Ha, I'm old Alice, I've had lots of practice.” Tess began to tell Alice about her children and grandchildren, and all the trials and tribulations she had gone through with raising them. It felt good to just sit and listen to Tess talk about her past. Alice thought about how nice it would be to be able to do the same. “Ooh, but just wait until Holly finds out about you!” Alice didn't recognize the name, and the way Nurse Tess had said it made her feel like she should have.

“Who is Holly?” Checking through her memories of the last few days, Alice knew for certain that the name 'Holly' had never come up.

“Holly is Dr. Hansen's on again off again girlfriend. Well I suppose, fiance actually.” The laughter was now completely gone from Tess' voice. Alice's heart felt like it had just taken up residence in her toes. Tess must have seen how upset she was, because she quickly began to expalin.

“Oh no Dear, its not what you think. . .” Tess was once again talking a mile-a-minute, but her words were by now falling a deaf ears. Alice had quit listening at the first mention of a fiance. It was french, but she knew exactly what it meant.

'Oh Alice, you stupid girl. How in the world did you ever think you were going to be anything more than what you are? Dr. Hansen just wants you for a toy. Its all you're ever going to be. You cant be normal Alice, its too late.' Moving in with Dr. Hansen just got a lot easier and a lot harder all at the same time. Did she live with him? Cook for him? Make him happy in bed? Obviously she did. And here Alice was, lying half dead in his hospital, thinking she could eventually have been his Holly. Tess was now saying something about having babies and Alice tried to concentrate, but she just couldn't. Imagining Dr. Hansen with his soon to be wife and impending child made her heart beat so loud, Alice couldn't have heard Tess even if she wanted to. Which she absolutely did not. She wanted to be left alone. She wanted Tess to go away, if only so the men could come find her and finish what they had started.

Tess was still talking when a noise broke Alice's self-made stupor. Her door was being opened once again. She was sick of hearing that damn knob, open and shut, open and shut, all day every day. “Leave it open.” Alice said, not sure at all who had opened it in the first place. She didn't care. If it was Dr. Hansen, it no longer mattered. He could be her doctor if he wanted, but she sure as hell wasn't going to be his pet. Alice had heard enough men over the years tell her they 'loved her' only to cut her open or break her bones seconds later. She had been raped hundreds of times while the men doing it whispered sweet nothings into her ear. Alice had been a fool to think Dr. Hansen was different. Maybe she had a permanent sign on her forehead reading 'Use Me', and he could try if he wanted. But, he was going to find it a lot harder to push Alice around now.

Maybe Alice would never be that 'normal' woman that a man would want just for being herself. That would be fine, she could do this on her own. But she was now willing to be buried alive before she let one more man use her for their dirty little secret, to shove in a box before heading home to his loving soon-to-be wife. Alice had promised herself a new start on life, and now she thought she could keep that promise. Only this time, she swore to God and to herself, Dr. Blake Hansen was not going to be in the picture. He could rot in Hell for all she cared, him and his fiance.