Just The Way You Like It - Under Construction

Chapter Thirty

Chapter Thirty

Alice watched as Dr. Hansen silently took a seat, apparently waiting for Nurse Tess and her to finish their meal. He looked kind of off for some reason, and Alice thought it may have been the way he was keeping his arm behind his back. As fast as Alice could manage, she wolfed down the rest of her meal while Nurse Tess continued telling Alice about her husband's job at the car repair shop. As much as she loved to listen to Tess' stories, she wanted to wrap things up quickly so she could apologize to Dr. Hansen.

After Alice's session with Wallace, she felt terrible for the way she had treated Dr. Hansen and felt more guilty about all the mean things she had wished upon him. Tess ran on and on for what seemed like an hour, and the entire time Dr. Hansen and Alice stared at each other. Alice could tell her vision was slowly getting better with time. That morning she hadn't been able to focus on Dr. Hansen's face until he was right next to her. But now, he was sitting halfway across the room, and Alice could stare into his deep, blue eyes perfectly. Finally Nurse Tess got up, cleaned off the table, and turned to Dr. Hansen. “We've missed you today Doctor. Is everything alright?”

Dr. Hansen never took his eyes off of Alice as he replied. “Yes Tess, everything is perfect. Would you mind giving us a minute or two?”

“Certainly.” Nurse Tess said as she picked up the now empty dishes and left. Dr. Hansen and Alice remained where they were for a few moments, keeping their silent gazes steady. Alice thought she saw a tiny hint of a smile as Dr. Hansen finally stood up. He didn't move his arm from behind his back as he came and sat down on the bed beside Alice's legs.

“Dr. Hansen I . . .” “Alice I . . .” They were talking over each other almost perfectly before stopping and waiting for the other to continue.

“Go ahead.” “You first.”

“No really, I insist.” “Please I . . .” Dr. Hansen used his free arm to motion Alice to break the symmetry.

“Dr. Hansen, I'm so sorry. I should have trusted you, and believed you, and I should have been nice to you, and I should have listened, and I should have talked to you, and I . . .”

“Whoa Alice, calm down. I'm sorry too. It's my fault entirely, I shouldn't have lied to you, you deserve more than that.”

“And I'm mostly sorry for last night.” After saying it, Alice finally broke her stare with Dr. Hansen and let her eyes fall down to her lap. “I'm really ashamed, and I shouldn't have done it. I'm so sorry. You probably thing I'm some sort of sex fiend or something.”

“Not at all Alice. You can't help what you do when you're not awake. We all have dreams that we wouldn't act out on if we were fully conscious.”

“Wallace didn't give me the details, and I'm not sure I want to know, but I hope I didn't hurt you or anything. I know you had blood on you this morning.”

“It was yours, you jumped out of your bed and yanked your IVs out.”

“I'm sorry.”

“Please Alice, stop apologizing. I promise, it's okay. Really, it wasn't as bad as I think you are imagining it was.”

“Would you . . . would you tell me what happened?”

“Um, okay. Well, I came in to watch over you for the night, and when I sat down I saw you staring at me. So I asked you if you were okay, and basically you tackled me into the chair. Then uh, you know.”

“No, I don't, but you don't have to tell me if you don't want to.”

“Well, you uh tried to take off my clothes, and um you kissed me a lot, and you um touched me a lot. God Alice, I'm sorry, this is just really strange. But that was all, it didn't get, you know, serious. Then you fell back asleep on top of me, and I put you back to bed.” Alice could feel the tears falling onto her hands as she listened to every word Dr. Hansen said. “Alice, don't cry. Honestly, it's okay. Look, I even got you a present.” Alice lifted her gaze just enough to see Dr. Hansen pull his arm out from behind his back. Gently, he placed a small black box into her hands.

“What is it?” She asked.

“Open it.” Dr. Hansen was once again smiling. Alice tried to suppress the butterflies that were now roiling her latest meal. Quite suddenly, she began to hiccup. Her hands were trembling as she tried to pry open the box. After a few failed attempts and five or six hiccups, Dr. Hansen helped Alice open it. Inside was the most beautiful bracelet she had ever seen. Alice watched as Dr. Hansen pulled the bracelet out of the box and placed it around her wrist. The feel of his skin on hers was enough to send a shock down her spine. His hands were warm and gentle, and Alice had the sudden urge to never let them go. Once the bracelet was around her wrist, Dr. Hansen slowly pulled away. “Do you like it?” He asked.

At first, Alice could only respond with a few hiccups, and settled on nodding her appreciation towards him. “I had it inscribed too. See?” Dr. Hansen reached out, turning her wrist gently so she could see the letters that were scrolled around the band. It read, 'Never Change, All My Love, Blake'.

“I love it.” Alice finally managed to squeak out. “I don't think I deserve it though. It's too nice.”

“Nonsense. I was a perfect ass to you, and while I don't expect to be able to pay you off with bracelets, I wanted to get you something nice. You deserve it Alice.”

“Thank you.” Alice couldn't take her eyes off of her new gift. The lights in the room made all the diamonds sparkle and dance as she turned the bracelet around on her arm.

“Listen Alice, no more lies. Okay? I promise you that. I swear from now on, I'm going to be completely honest with you about everything. You are so special to me, and I don't want to ever lose you. As crappy as they have been, the days I have spent with you have also been my happiest. You light me up, how I don't know. I love you Alice, and I want to be there for you, and protect you, and keep you safe. I know I've been an ass, so I'm hoping that maybe we could just start over. What do you think?”

They spent the rest of the day talking about anything and everything. Alice learned a lot about Dr. Hansen as he told her about his childhood, his family, and his career. He kept it pretty low key, and never mentioned Holly or anything to do about Alice's case. She decided to follow his lead and not bring any of it up. She loved listening to him talk. His voice sounded like the ocean, constantly ebbing and flowing like the tide. Mostly Alice stayed quiet and just listened to him speak. She watched his mannerisms; the way he kept running his hands through his hair, the way he unknowingly fidgeted with the hem on his coat. Mostly, she loved to watch his face. His black hair and blue eyes were mesmerizing to her. Alice watched his mouth move as he spoke, and became fascinated by his teeth. She thought she could sit there forever and just watch him. She must have fallen asleep at some point, because the next thing Alice knew she was startled awake by his body pressing up against her back.

Dr. Hansen was doing the same thing he had done the night of Alice's attack, but this time felt so much different. That first night, she mostly just wanted him near me for her own safety and for her fear of being left alone again. But tonight, Alice wanted him just for the sake of feeling his body against her own. She could smell his body wash, feel the stubble on his chin pressing up against the nape of her neck, she listened to his rapid breaths as he settled in gently next to her. “I love you Alice.” He whispered. Alice still didn't know how to respond to his statements of adoration so she chose to keep quiet. After only a few minutes she could tell Blake was asleep, and she began tracing her fingers up and down his arm. Alice smiled thinking about her upcoming move, and how fabulous it was going to be to have Dr. Hansen all to herself. She fell back asleep quickly, still wrapped snugly in Dr. Hansen's arms.