Vulnerable

Nine- Andy

I woke up next to my mother and realized how long I had spent there. I looked up at the face I loved so much and started to tell her about my week:

"It hasn't been a good one mum, I know Dad does bad things to me every single week but this week was worse." I felt a small tear slip down my cheek.

"But something strange happened too. Every time I see this boy my heart flutters, and he looks at me with.. love? Well, I do not know if anyone else could love me but... his voice gives me some hope. Recently he has stopped being one of the bullies and he, he sort of helps me." I admit to myself more than anything. I don't know what to feel when I am around him in all truth. He makes me very nervous.

I know I will have to go to school again today. But strangely, I didn't feel fearful of what will happen. Yes I know, bullies would pick on me and I could get hurt but maybe, I can look into his eyes and see that glimmer of hope that makes me feel strong enough to fight through the day. I could tell I had missed a day, as I asked the nurse when she came in, just to be sure of the date. Although I knew how bad it was, and how angry my father would be, I loved spending the day here. Yes, I wouldn't get a response from my mother, but having her here meant that Someone cared. I could feel her presence when I told her things, she had a comforting, kind aura to her. Gods I missed her.

I walked into school and pulled my hood down over my eyes in the attempt to hide my face from everyone. But I then began to feel very faint as I knew I had not eaten in a few days. I felt the dark start to close in around me and overwhelm me. Not now not here I thought, they could call him or make me talk about the bruises that littered my too-skinny body. Then he would pull her plug. These were the last thoughts to cross my mind before it all went black.

I heard some frantic yelling and someone calling for the nurse.
The school nurse walked up to me and held me, asking if I was okay. I tried to murmur a response to her but I collapsed into darkness. Gave in to it's demand of sleep.

The sound of someone on a phone awoke me again, I heard the gruff voice on the other end of the device and paled. no. please no. why wouldn't they call my father though, its not like I told anyone about him, they were just doing their jobs. Maybe if I tried to get up they would just let me go back to lessons. As I tried, however, two firm hands pushed me back down and reassured me that my father was on his way to take me home. Reassurance failed. I felt empty, my punishment for running away for a whole day was going to be so bad I would wish for death.

on cue, the door to the reception opened and a huge man stood there, casting a shadow over the chair I was sat in. He instantly put on his façade and smiled at the nurse. he told her how 'grateful' he was that my health had been brought to his concern. he turned and gave me a stare of daggers that pierced my being before roughly grabbing my arm so tight I swore it would leave a bruise, and pulling me out of reception and back to his beaten old car.

I tried to fight him, what was the point, there was no escape. He shut me in the back of his car with the child locks on and a mesh between him and me, I was a caged animal to him. I knew the drive would be short and the worst hell imaginable would follow. so I closed my eyes and waited for the inevitable.

I had been in this position only a few times in my life, and each time I disobeyed him like this... it was inhumane, the last time he invited some of his friends over. I can't talk about it. But it's the reason I flinch when someone touches me, and the reason that I am afraid of loving another.

I heard his car start to slow down as we arrived at the beaten old home that I live in. I should have run away a long time ago, but then I would be homeless and I wouldn't have my mother, I know I get bullied in school but the learning gives me life and hopes. The car jolted to a stop outside the garage and there was a moment of silence as we both sat in the car.

"You know what you've done to deserve this boy, don't ya?"
He growled angrily.

"Please sir, I didn't mean anything by it, I was going to come home, I was I promise sir" I begged him. Who gives a shit about my pride anyways. I knew that this punishment was going to end up with me being used. Again.

"No forgiveness for that stunt you pulled, I could have been caught. So here's what's going to happen. I'm gonna beat on you so you're nice and weak. Then I'm going to call Jack and Colin, they can have the pleasure of punishing you. I'll tie you up for them. Oh and Andy, you know from last time, the more you struggle, the more it's gonna hurt. So be a good slut won't ya?" His laugh was like an earthquake echoing through the mountains.

I panicked, grabbing in vain at the handle of the door. I felt tears slick down my face, memories of the last time entering my head.

-a/n- sensitive flash back here, skip if uncomfortable with mention of rape k? )

{flashback}

"No no, please stop please" I had cried, knowing they wouldn't. My hands were handcuffed above me, leaving me exposed. And they didn't stop. Not until I was lying on the bed, bleeding and paralysed by fear.

{end of flashback}

The door to the car opened, but not of my own doing. He grabbed my arm and dragged me through the door. He didn't bother to close it behind him, I noticed. Maybe there was some hope, maybe someone would hear my screams and help me. He pinned my arms above me and began to hit me. Again and again, I could tell that he was mad, if he went on like this I would die. I'd rather die than be used again. I have never felt clean since the last time my fathers friends visited me.

I couldn't escape

Nobody was going to save me

There was no point resisting

I gave up

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Heyy guyyys!!
Got a little bit of Andys past via a flashback here. And a cliffhanger oooh. Let me know if you like flashbacks and I'll put more in. So.. read, share, vote (pretty please) add to reading lists and enjoyyyy.

Till' next time,
B x