Vulnerable

Fifteen- Andy

He was taking me to school. I was with him. In his car. Going to school. Was this a new beginning? Did this mean I was safe? That I would be protected? I was filled with a childlike glee as I smiled deeply at the brunette next to me. He was too focused on drinking to look at me back. But Jesus fricking Christ, he is gorgeous! And he his mine, I thought to myself, rather smugly I may add.

I could hold his hand in the corridors and grip his bicep when Sonny came to confront me. He would be my guardian angel. Maybe I could even make some friends, friends who would stick up for me and protect me. I felt happy and loved in that car. Even though he wasn't looking at me, holding me or kissing me I could feel his presence enveloping me in a cloud of love and safety.

We arrived at the second hellhole in my life, school. Today would be tough. Undoubtedly people will have heard about my dad, how he abused me and is going to be put on trial for it. I needed Rye today, to shut out the inevitable whispers, the assumptions, and cruel words.

But we had stopped for little more than ten seconds when he jumped out of the car and marched off to his friends.
'He must just be telling them about me' I muttered to myself. I drew on the confidence he gave me and opened the car door, my knees shook a little as I took a step and closed the door. Then I thought of the way our lips touched and how he had confronted me outside his car, thankfully that problem had died down a bit. I hurriedly made my way towards Rye as I got some strange looks. I remembered my face was probably still a mess, I pulled up the hood on my hoodie to walk over to Rye and his friends. I quickly scanned the group for the one I feared most and let out a small sigh of relief when I realized Sonny was not there.

I slowly sidled up to Ryes side and was a little saddened when he didn't acknowledge me. Ah well, he was probably nervous too. I mean, he's sort of coming out right now. To the whole school. Because of me. He is so brave, kind and amazing. I hope that people see him the same. That's what some people do not understand, being openly gay does not change who you are at the core, it just allows you to understand yourself better. He will still be the same Rye.

Jack and Mikey immediately smiled warmly at me, I flinched as Jack raised his arms and cane towards me. When it turned out to be a hug I relaxed into his embrace. It felt weird, to be accepted.

"Andy, Mikey and I, we are so sorry about the way we treated you. It wasn't fair and even though we were afraid of what Harvey may have done to us, it's still no excuse." Jack said to me, his hands on my shoulders.

"Yeah, I'm so sorry too mate," Mikey said awkwardly, patting my shoulder in sympathy. I looked at the two boys and saw how genuine their apologies were.

"It's okay, we all do things we don't want to when we are afraid, you are forgiven" I immediately responded. The boy's faces lit up and I knew that forgiving them had been the right call. But when I turned away from the idle chatter I was having with them I saw Rye walk speedily away from me. Jack noticed immediately.

"Mate, he just needs some time okay. The way he talked about you and what he has given up tells us he really likes you. Just give him a bit"

"Sure... okay. I can do that" but I still couldn't hide the sadness from my face.
"I had better go," I said to the boys in front of me, blinking back tears. Swiftly I made my way into the library, again running to my safe place. Hiding my face from the normal slurs and laughs. looking down I collided with a dirty blond head of hair.

"Man, I am so sorry," the lad said, he looked up at me and recognized me. I thought he would say something about the news, I hadn't seen him around before, so he would be curious about the abused boy whose father hated him and whose mum was practically dead. Oh, and to top it off he was also gay and bullied in school. Yeah, I had a great life.