Skinny Love

Chapter 15

The first two periods of the day pass by quickly, nobody said anything about my weight gain. It was surprisingly uneventful. By the time lunch came around, I was actually quite happy. If nobody else had noticed the additional fat gathered around my stomach or my thighs, maybe it wasn't there.

I met up with Lola at the beginning of lunch, she told me to wait for her outside of the gym because she had PE. As she came out of the changing rooms I saw tears in her eyes and falling down her cheeks.

"Oh my God, Lola. What happened?" I asked as I ran up to her.

"I don't want to talk about it yet, can we please just go to the canteen?" I nodded as I swung my arm around her, embracing her as a form of comfort, pulling her into my shoulder as we walked towards the canteen. People were staring as we walked through the corridor, I didn't know whether it was me that they were staring at or if it was Lola. In a way, I hoped it was Lola. It looked like she noticed they were staring as well because she straightened up and wiped all the remaining tears off of her face. Immediately, she looked like a different person. Her walls were back up and she wasn't going to let anybody see that they had hurt her. I could only wish to be as strong as Lola was in this moment. Walking into the canteen was no different; whispers followed Lola with every step she took but she refused to let them see it was bothering her. I could tell it was though, I looked at her as we were standing in the queue to get her lunch and I could see it in her eyes; a tiny flicker of hurt that was buried beneath the tough facade she was putting on. I didn't know who had said what to hurt her but I wanted them to pay for making Lola feel this way, she didn't deserve it.

After she grabbed her food and paid for it, we went to find her usual table with Cole. I can only imagine how he will react when he hears about Lola, I barely even know him but I can already see how protective of Lola he is. Not as many people were sat around the table as usually was; only Cole, Harry and a couple of their friends. As soon as we approached, Cole stood up and ran over to Lola, embracing her in a caring hug. In response Lola started crying into Cole's chest.

"I'm so sorry she said that Lola, I'm so so sorry." I could hear Cole saying as I stood patiently behind them, holding Lola's tray.

"It's not your fault Cole. It just hurts." she replied as he released her from the embrace.

"She'll pay, don't worry." I really wanted to know who had made Lola this upset but feared asking as it seemed to be none of my business. Instead of intruding, I walked around them and placed Lola's lunch on the table, taking a seat next to it. Lola and Cole soon followed suit and sat down as well. Everyone started tucking into their lunches and began their own conversations about the events that had previously happened, everyone except me. I didn't know what had happened to Lola and felt so useless because of it. So instead of sitting around being helpless, I decided to ask Lola myself, hoping she wouldn't be too upset by my nosiness.

"Um, Lola?" I said timidly

"Yeah?" she answered, turning towards me

"W-what happened? You don't have to tell me, I just thought I might be able to help you if I knew what was going on."

"Oh, I forgot you didn't know. Sorry." she took a deep breath before continuing "So, I was in PE and it was all going fine, until I went back into the changing rooms afterwards. Umm... Cadie and Harper were there." I can immediately feel my face drop, nothing is ever good when they are involved "an-and I ignored them when I was in the changing room but when I tried to leave, they blocked the door. I didn't get what they were doing so tried pushing past them but they just pushed me down." she paused again, willing the tears in her eyes to go away. I held her arm and saw Cole grab her hand from under the table, telling her it's ok. "They started talking about my mum... my birth mum, calling her horrible things, saying how she-she deserved to die for putting Cole's mum through what she had been through. They kept saying it was my fault- my fault she died. They said that I killed her and that I didn't deserve my family, I deserved to be in some shitty care home with an abusive family so that I paid for what I did." at this Lola broke down all over again. Tears were streaming down her face and I pulled her into a hug.

"Lola, I don't know what to say I'm so sorry." I whispered into her hair. She just nodded in reply, unable to form another sentence through her sobs. I could see Cole behind Lola, his jaw locked in anger, telling me he was holding back what he wanted to do to Cadie and Harper. He turned towards us and his eyes immediately met mine and softened, neither of us looking away for what felt like forever but was only a matter of seconds, until Lola pulled out of the hug.

"Ok." she said as she wiped all remnants of tears from her face "I want to move on and forget about this whole thing, That means, Cole, nothing will be said to Cadie or Harper, or even Brodie." at the sound of his name I stiffen and all the breath gets knocked out of me as memories flood through my brain. I try to shake off the feeling and try to focus back on Lola before anybody notices my reaction but I can already tell Cole did as his eyes are no longer watching Lola, they are on me and his eyebrows are furrowed in confusion. He is trying to decipher my reaction but he can't know so I pay attention to Lola, just as she is finishing her sentence "So, basically, nothing is said to any of them unless they say something else to me. Got it Cole?" his eyes finally move away from me as he hears the sound of his name.

"Yeah, sure, whatever." he shrugs nonchalantly as the bell rings, signally the end of lunch.

"Hey, what's next period?" I ask everyone

"Double cooking." Harry replies quickly as he grabs his bag and walks off to catch up with Cole. Cooking, great. Cole, Harry, Cadie and Harper all in one lesson. There goes my good day.

*****

"So, today you are going to have a planning lesson." Mrs Smith announces as a chorus of disapproving groans sound from around the classroom "Oh, don't complain. You need to plan your next lesson so that you know what to cook in your final exam. Unless, of course, you all want to fail and then not be able to leave school and make your life the complete and utter failure everybody expects it to be." Silence from around the classroom "That's what I thought so shut up and get on with it." At that everybody begins talking to their partners. Everybody except me and Cole, we stay silent, unaware of how to talk to each other.

"I'll get some paper." Is all I hear before Cole stands up and makes his way to the front. As soon as he does, I hear the clicking of heels and someone takes the seat next to me.

"Hey Hattie. How you doing?" The high pitched voice voice squeaks from beside me. I turn my head to face Cadie but don't answer her.

"What's the matter? Cat got your tongue or are you just too afraid that I'll humiliate you just like I did Lola?" She giggles to herself victoriously, as if she won a battle by making my only friend feel bad about herself. "Don't worry, that won't happen to you yet unless you continue to chase after Cole."

"I'm not chasing after him. We're just cooking partners." I mutter quietly, more to myself than to her but she can still hear me.

"You know that's not what I mean. You went home with him yesterday, even after you tragically got locked in the photography room. I mean, could you not take the hint?" She giggles again but this time there is no humour present only pure hatred.

"Seeing as this is so difficult for you to understand, I'll put it in simpler terms for you: stay the fuck away from Cole, or Lola gets humiliated again." Realisation sets in that it was me that caused Lola to get so hurt, Cadie hurts my only friend just so she can get Cole to herself. This is all my fault. "Or better yet, I can just get Brody to pay you a visit... I know how much you love my boyfriend, I'm sure he'd love your company too." she whispers closer to my ear and then walks away. As she does, I see Cole walk back.

"What did she want?" he asks, confused but right now I have no answer, I have no words. Cadie went after Lola to get to me. She will send Brody after me. For being near someone, I barely even know. I take short breaths and out, as I feel panic rising. I can't breathe, it's like the air has just evaporated from my lungs and no more can enter.

"Hattie, are you ok?" I vaguely hear through the ringing in my ears.

"Hattie!" I jump, suddenly aware of my surroundings, looking around frantically, trying to get a grip on myself. "Are you ok?" there's that voice again. I look around, tracing the voice back to its owner... Cole. As soon as I see the worry in his eyes, I realise how weird I must look to him so I take one last deep breath before answering "Yeah, I'm fine. Sorry." but I think we both know that I am the farthest from that. Thoughts about Cadie and Brody still poison my mind but for now I cannot let them show, I can't seem weak, especially in front of Cole.