Skinny Love

Chapter 29

School's dragging so much this week. It seems like it's been weeks when, in reality, it's only third period on a Thursday. I'm currently running laps in PE with Mr and Mrs Taylor. Strangely, I kind of enjoy PE, when we do cross country, it's the only time in the school day in which I get to think and be on my own. It also helps to burn off any calories I've been forced to eat during the day.

Stop thinking about the calories, Hattie.

I've been trying a different approach to eating this week, a way that's healthy. Cole brings in vegetable sticks for lunch everyday and everyday I allow myself to eat two of each. Roughly, that's about 6 calories per stick and so I only consume about 50 calories or under for lunch. It's more than I'm used to but still a controlled amount where I won't get fat from eating them.

Seeing the look on Cole's face sometimes makes it worth it though. He just looks so proud that I'm actually eating something. To be honest, when I look around the lunch table at Lola and Harry, they have similar looks on their faces as well.

Sometimes, seeing them all like that makes me beyond happy; finally having someone proud of something I've done. But there has been the odd day where I feel like a science experiment to them... like they're testing how far they can push me before I break... I need to stop thinking like that though, they care about me, that's all... I hope.

"Hattie! Slow down!" I hear a deep voice shout from behind me.

I don't recognise it at first so I keep running at my original pace. However, soon after I feel a hand grab my shoulder. The feeling shocks me so much that I trip and fall flat onto the hard ground. I feel the gravel from the track piercing my skin under my legs.

Why did I pick today to wear my thin leggings?

"Oh my God! Are you alright? I'm so sorry!" I look up from my position on the ground to meet Tyler's dark eyes. As soon as I see him, all I can think about is the party; the way his hand gripped my wrist and the fear I felt.

Instead of engaging in any form of conversation with him, I get up from the ground, completely ignoring the hand he offered to help me up, and walk away from him, slightly limping from the impact of the ground.

"Hattie! Wait... I'm sorry! I was drunk and didn't mean to upset you." He shouts after me but I just keep walking and eventually break into a run; I don't need Tyler ruining the only time I have to myself all week.

Literally the whole of year 11 is in this lesson but usually we get split into different activities like netball, basketball and table tennis. This time though, our teachers decided to torture us all and cram our whole year into the running track, meaning there is only a small gap from Tyler until I encounter the next group of people walking slowly around the track.

Immediately, I notice this group of people as Cadie, Harper, Brodie and Stevie, aka the dickheads. I want to run past them but am terrified that Brodie is standing on the edge I would have to pass so I slow my pace down so I can keep my distance and time my passing correctly.

You're pathetic; you can't even walk past a group of people. Just do it!

My mind is screaming to just do it but my gut is telling me to just slowly behind them at a safe distance. Why must my mind and gut instinct always disagree? I take a second to weigh my options, considering the possible outcomes of each.

Before, I realise what I'm doing, my feet begin to speed up, quickly catching up to the group in front of me and overtaking them. For a second, I think I'm in the clear and that they didn't notice me. However, I'm clearly mistaken as I hear footsteps beside me.