Skinny Love

Chapter 26

I feel uncomfortable. Here I was, sat on Evie Gerschwitz' couch, watching as the world moved on around me, completely ignoring me and my problems. Lola was dancing with Harry, both of them getting a bit too close to each other to be just friends. Cole was nowhere to be seen. He had gone to get himself a drink about 5 minutes ago and never returned. I didn't feel like dancing tonight, not when I had such a heavy pain in my chest, left from the mirror earlier. So, at a party, there's not really much else to do except talk to people, which I also don't do. I bet I look like such a loner right now, sat in the corner all by myself but I didn't feel like socialising, like pretending everything was ok, when it clearly wasn't.

Lola didn't question my odd behaviour from the changing rooms earlier but I could tell that she knew something was wrong. Cole, however, could tell something was wrong with me as soon as I sat my arse in the car, and so didn't stop questioning me the whole time I was around their house. Considering they're both the same age and were raised the same, Cole and Lola couldn't be less alike. That's what I like about them though.

"Heyyyy Hattie... how you doing?" I heard a slurred voice coming towards me, not recognising it as Tyler's until I looked up. He sat down beside me, a little too close for comfort.

"Hey." I replied, discomfort clear in my voice. I don't like drunk people, especially drunk guys. They turn into dickheads and don't listen to you.

"Enjoying the party?" He asks noisily, moving towards me slightly. I try to move away but am met with the arm or the chair, blocking my way.

"I guess so. I need to go though... I-I'm thirsty." I state, attempting to get up before getting pulled back down by my wrist.

"NOOO, don't go. Stay with me for a while. I feel like we haven't spoken in agessss." Each one of his words is dragged out, making it even clearer that he is completely wasted.

"Tyler, just let go. I'm thirsty. W-we can talk later." I try to make my voice strong, to let him know I'm serious but still end up stuttering a little.

He doesn't let go though, instead he pulls me closer to him. As he does, I start remembering Brodie. The way is hands grabbed my waist, locking me in place. How is lips felt, attacking my neck and mouth.

"Why'd you wanna leave so soon Hat-" before Tyler can finish, a deep voice interrupts him, pulling me off of the couch as he speaks.

"Hattie, it's time to go." That's all Cole says but it's clearly enough for Tyler to get the message, as he immediately walks away.

As Tyler fades into the crowd, I can feel my chest loosen up and I release the breath I didn't even realise I was holding. Tyler's not scary but the reminder of Brodie was. Watching Tyler walk away, I swear I see him approach Harper but the crowd is too big to tell so I forget about him and try to forget about what happened.

When I look towards Cole, his face holds no emotion.... He looks angry, and it seems to be directed at me. A sharp pain goes through my chest at the thought of him being angry at me.

"Th-thank you, Cole." I say, just loud enough to be heard over the music. His eyes soften when I say it.

"You ok?" He asks, staring into my eyes.

"Yeah, I think so." Lie "I just wanna go."

"Well, Harry's mum wasn't gonna pick us up for another hour..."

Shit! I forgot that we needed picking up. I think fast before Cole suggests we stay until Harry's dad comes and try to find a solution.

"I-I think I'll just walk back to mine. Tell Lola and Harry I just didn't feel well, please." I look up to meet Cole's eyes one more time before speed-walking out of the house, bracing myself for the hour long walk home... in the dark... in the middle of November... in a thin satin dress. I really didn't think this through.

*****

For the whole half an hour of me walking home, my thoughts have been consumed by Brodie, Tyler's actions taking me back to the day it all happened. I suppose it was my fault really, I went to his house party and followed him up to his room... I just didn't know what he was planning at the time, too naive to think that anyone would want to do anything to me. I hear the slamming of his bedroom door and the click of the lock echoes through my head. Goosebumps begin to form all over my body and the tears that threatened to spill from my eyes all night finally begin to fall.

Suddenly, the sound of a twig breaking from behind snaps me out of my nightmare-like thoughts. I turn around to see who made the sound and am met with Cole's face, looking like a child caught with their hand in the sweet jar.

"Sorry." he said, embarrassment growing evident on his features.

"W-why are y-you..." I take a second to breath, trying to clear my voice of sadness. "Following me?"

"Oh... well I just wanted to make sure you got home safe, I guess." He reaches his arm up to scratch the back of his neck, clearly uncomfortable about something.

"And you decided to do that by following me instead of just walking with me?" I question, genuinely intrigued.

"Yeah..." he releases a deep breath "Look, love, you just looked really deep in thought and I didn't want to disturb you."

"So, you just walked behind me, following me from a party, like a creepy stalker?" I ask with a hint of amusement in my voice.

He holds his hands up in defense "Not like a creepy stalker, like a considerate friend, actually. You make it sound like I'm some kidnapper or something." As Cole says this, there is still a hint of embarrassment being shown on his face but now it mainly contains amusement at the situation.

For a second, my thoughts are taken off Brodie and Tyler. Just for a second, but a second is all I needed to think about something else... to actually laugh for the first time today. This is one of the things that originally made me like Cole as a friend; that he can take my mind off any of the messed up shit going on in my life.

"So... should we just go back to mine?" he asks but immediately he rethinks his choice of words "I-I mean cos we're only about five minutes away from mine and your house is still like half an hour away so it'll be easier for both of us, especially considering you're freezing to death right now. Anyway, I'm pretty sure that Lola is just gonna stay at Harry's so you won't have to worry about her questions an-"

"Cole!" I interrupt his rambling.

"Yeah?" he replies.

"It's fine, I get what you mean." A little giggle escapes me thinking about how long Cole can ramble for. On the outside he's just the same as any high school cliche but when he gets talking you realise he's just such a nervous wreck.

"I love your giggle." He says out of the blue.

I raise my eyebrows in confusion and his raise in alarm, as if he's only just realised what he had said.

"What?" I ask quietly.

He exhales a deep breath, before taking is khaki bomber jacket off and stepping closer to me. As he does, his eyes never leave mine. Softly, he places the jacket around my shoulders, the warmth left from his body instantly spreading through me, making me aware of how cold I was before. After he finishes, his hands stay on my shoulders, trapping me in place.

"You heard me."

Before I could even realise what was happening, his lips were on mine, soft but still prominent. My mind thought back to the first time he kissed me in the photography room. Things had always been slightly weird between us since then because neither of us knew how to act around each other, what was right and what was wrong. But in this moment, I knew that this was what was right... I just hope he feels the same way.