cheated on | JENSOO

13【GUILT AND NEED】

[cont. Jennie POV]

I felt guilty looking at the peak of a smile forming on his face knowing, I, myself, wasn't in the right place right now.

I have such a headache.

"Why were you sleeping in the car? Come out and greet me properly, Jennie!"

I nodded warily, unlocked the door, and stepped out of the car, instantly shielding and rubbing my eyes against the sun's blaring light.

It was too damn bright for my mood. . .

I was quickly drawn into one of the tighest hugs I have ever been in as soon as I'd properly approached.

"Thought you'd never come again." he spoke softly into the hug, his hand grasping protectively the nape of my neck. "Why didn't you just come inside?" he rephrased the question I had yet to answer. I then could see no other option but to answer him truthfully.

"I was afraid . . . That if I did, I would stop dreaming . . . And that the past eighteen hours would become real again . . . But I can see that it already has. . ." My voice was soft and more than a little bit heart broken.

And then I finally made myself hug him back, although I was drained of all energy and I found that my arms didn't want to work. I hugged him, thinking about the conflicted expression that would soon be passing over his face. I tried to hug him as tightly as he was hugging me. I desperately needed the comfort, the warmth.

Even if it wasn't from the person I'd so insanely wanted it to be.

I almost cried as I thought about the predicament I'm currently in, but I choked back my sobs and forced myself to speak again before he did.

"Is Mom awake?" My voice quivered a bit.
"O-Of course she is . . . Let's get you inside." I was mostly dragged inside by my brother instead of going in by myself. I haven't been to visit in a while, and I guess he didn't want to take any changes on me running away.

Like I would, I sniffed bitterly through my thoughts, I have nowhere else to go. . .
I just wished I'd come to visit on a different occassion. Not on a day like today.

Not on Chu's 24th birthday, and she's not even here with me. . .

I came alone. . .  The thought kept hitting me like a pile of falling rocks.

My mom was in the kitchen when we came in, me still being dragged. She was making breakfast, and I had to admit that it smelled totally delicious. I missed my mom's cooking.
But the thought of eating right now made me nauseous.

I was led to the couch in the livingroom by my brother who plopped down next to me, quite happily. He sighed in contentness and then turned his body to the left to face me, folding his left leg underneath him.

He then ruffled my hair a bit. . . And then he just stared, leaving me trapped under his suddenly scrutinizing gaze.

"W-What?" I asked, feeling very self-conscious and I 𝕓𝕝𝕚𝕟𝕜ed 𝕥𝕨𝕚𝕔𝕖. (okay I'll stop)

"I'd be stupid not to notice that you've been crying."

"But--"

"But what? You have dried up tear marks lining your face in a few different places. And your eyes are so red they look flesh-burnt. . ."

I looked down, away from his gaze, and folded my lips into my mouth, chewing on them unconsciously. I heard him sigh when he knew I wasn't going to answer.

"Based on the fact that you slept in the car, you look like you haven't slept in a month, your clothes were in the backseat of your car, and the words you said out there. . . I'm guessing that this isn't your normal 'visit'." He paused and I stayed quiet.