cheated on | JENSOO

19【IF SHE COULD HEAR ME】

[Jisoo's POV]

I ask myself repeatedly what I'd done to make my life so damn complicated.

It's been a week, an entire week, and still I couldn't be more confused with myself and what I feel in my heart.

For days I caught myself pondering endlessly over the advice that Jinyoung kindly gave me that messed up, dramatic day. He told me to follow my heart, to take action before I end up torturing myself further—to the point of no return.

But, my heart is confused. It's still fragile; better yet, it's still torn. I know with my entire being that I still love Jennie. I've loved her all along, that feeling has never gone away . . . but I'm more than afraid of opening up to her again.

I'm hardly alive inside with only half of my heart intact; and I don't want to re-experience that process of breaking down into death again. Otherwise, I'll remain dead inside.

Ding Dong. Dingdong, Dingdong.

The doorbell breaks me out of my thoughts. I sigh as I stand slowly, calling out to the ringer that I'm coming and they can stop leaning on the bell.

I walk a bit slower than originally intended. I don't want to be bothered by anyone at this point. With all the thoughts floating around in my head, Jinyoung's words puncturing my heartstrings, Jennie's face causing feelings to stir, I've gained a headache and I want to be left alone, brooding over what to do next with my life.

I want no one to see me in this state, no matter who it is at my door in this late hour.

Ding Dong. Ding Dong.

"Coming!" I call a second time, speeding up just a bit more as I trudge down the stairs thinking inwardly that my visitor might just as well be my Chaengie.

It wouldn't surprise me since the last time I saw her she was angry and being led out gently by her girlfriend, trailing closely and threateningly behind my own ex-girlfriend.

But then again, Chaeng called me every day after that incident, making sure I was okay as I began crying myself to sleep every night, yet again. She took care of me, not in person, but over the phone; and for that I am thankful. As much as I guess I wouldn't mind if Chaeng was here, I wonder why she would come if we'd talked as much as we did each day.

Maybe it's not her . . . I began to think, or maybe it is and she somehow really needs me. . . I bite my lip tightly and quicken my steps further, now worried about Chaeng if it so happens to be her.

If it's not her, I'll have to give her a call later. I suddenly have a really bad feeling. . .

Finally, I reach the door just as another ring of the doorbell echoed throughout the house. Increasingly worried about Chaeng, my hand finds the doorknob quickly, yet I still find myself unable to turn it, cautious ever since I'd found Jennie at the door a week ago and not who I'd expected it to be.

"Who is it?!" I call loudly and waited, though I received no answer. I cocked an eyebrow and thinking that maybe they got tired of me and left, I turned away from the door, preparing myself to head back to my bedroom.

Ding Dong. Dingdong, Dingdong, Dingdong!

WHAT THE HELL?!

Frustrated, angry, and with my head throbbing, I rush over to the door once again and this time, I yank it open in irritation.

My actions instantly filled me with regret. With wide eyes, I tried desperately to close it again, only to have a large foot block the pathway between a closed door and my sanity.

"Oh, no you don't." The woman on the other side growled at me dangerously, pushing the door open so hard that I lost my grip and balance, crying out in surprise as I fell clumsily onto the carpet below me.