cheated on | JENSOO

18【JUST ONE LAST TIME】

[Jisoo POV]

Jinyoung's incessant pounding outside the door has yet to cease, his voice rising in pitch, as he became more taken by worry. He was probably beyond frustrated, having not heard anything for such a long time while Jennie and I stood silently motionless for what now seemed to be around an entire 3 minutes.

I was tacked to the floor, yet I couldn't bring my mind to come to a stand-still, or for my heart to stop pounding so relentlessly in my chest. I was overcome by a flurry of emotions I thought I had escaped from the day Jennie had disappeared from my life that day a year ago. But now, everything came flooding back—with new reasons, and old.

I feel afraid, multiple thoughts flying around in my head about the current situation; I feel guilty towards Jinyoung, knowing that what just went on with Jennie in my own living room is something that I've wished for since the day everything went so wrong.

I even feel sorry to Jennie; knowing that her feelings for me are more than undeniably mutual . . . But are feelings that, right now, I am unable to let myself succumb to in his presence, or possibly ever again.

But above all else, I'm confused . . . and I'm disappointed in myself, because my emotions are telling me one thing, while my mind is telling me another.

The sole reason for all the long and lonely nights I've cried myself to sleep, the reason my heart starts to beat at an uncontrollable rate just at the random touch of her name on a tongue, and the reason I've yet to fully open up to the one banging down my door from the outside, is standing nothing but a short five feet distance away from me. . .

After an entire year, looking completely different and painfully more beautiful to my deprived eyes, she's finally within my natural reach, my hand just a fingertip's graze away from the body that makes me tingle inside. . . And I believe that this reality is all too good to let go.

My mind's telling me to ignore her, rush to open the door, and cling to Jinyoung's warm embrace and hear his soft, soothing voice. My mind's telling me that Jennie is no good for me, she'll never change, and that I hate her passionately for what she had put me through. But my emotions; my heart is telling me that my thoughts are a lie, that I'm pained to know that I love her so much more than hate can ever find a way to form a five letter word. My heart's bellowing out to me to cancel the date, tell Jinyoung to go away, and give in to the body of the one I so crave.

My heart's telling me not to watch the woman I love leave me alone again. She'll be too far away. I need her here beside me. . .

I struggled for another minute with the right decision, but I heard the first one louder in the end—Instead of the latter, I chose my mind over my heart.

Avoiding the hurt gaze Jennie used to follow my every move, I ran to the door and unlocked it slowly. I couldn't even bear to look at him as I opened the door for Jinyoung to burst inside and pulled it back wide enough, showing the dark night to him before I said as firmly as I could,

"Jennie . . . Please leave." Although I could hardly hear myself, she heard me clearly.

"Are you serious, Jisoo?" I heard the noticeable waver in his voice. It crashed stones against my heart. But I nodded slowly anyways.

I chose Jinyoung over Jennie. . .

I heard her release a shaky breath and expected to hear a reply from hers obviously frowning mouth, but instead heard one from Jinyoung's.

"What the hell is this bastard doing here anyways?" I finally turned around to face the both of them, slowly. Jennie hasn't moved from his spot; Jinyoung stood about 10 feet away from her.