Different

Epilogue

There will be a much longer author's note at the end, but I just want to start off saying that it is VERY weird to be finally writing the last chapter. It feels like just yesterday I was starting this story. Ahh, so many emotions...okay I'm done for now! On with the story!

*3 months after the wedding*

Rachel's POV--

Why I thought Asher and I would ever work out is beyond me. I can't even come up with one reason why he and I should have ever even talked at Macy and Kyle's wedding, and I definitely should have not agreed to meet up with him that next day. I mean, for the first few weeks, everything between us two was okay, not great, but I thought things would get better with time because I knew that I had such strong feelings for him, and he felt the same towards me. It's just our relationship changed drastically in such a short amount of time.

I didn't know it at first, but when I left to go back home, Asher took me leaving very hard, harder than what I was expecting. Macy mentioned to me that Kyle was telling her Asher was consistently at the bar and coming home drunk, but there was so much more to the story no one cared to shared. Asher ended up losing his home because he was beginning to not pay his bills on time, and when he did pay them, he was only paying half. Because he lost his place, he ended up moving in with Kyle rent free in the beginning. Kyle was just thinking that Asher was having a hard time because of everything that happened with him and Amy as well as him and I. He wanted to make sure his friend was to get back on the right track,.

However, like I said, there was more to the story than anyone knew. Asher was apparently losing all of his money to drugs, which is why he was never able to have enough money to pay his bills. The only reason anyone ever found out about it was because I was going over to pick him up to go out to eat one night, and instead of him coming out of the house sober, he came out barely being able to walk or come up with a complete sentence. I knew that something wasn't right. I took him back inside to let him have a seat, and that was when I found what he was using on the kitchen table. I was completely disgusted about him even thinking about doing that to himself, that I completely stormed out of the house with him lying on the couch confused. 

Since then, he and I have been doing nothing but fighting. He keeps telling me that he can stop and will stop doing the drugs and constantly drinking, but as far as I know, he still hasn't quit. Every now and then, I catch him with a beer in his hand or him sneaking off in the night to buy whatever. Sometimes, I don't say anything because I just get too tired of arguing, but other times, it just slips out. 

"So you have enough money to pay for drugs and alcohol but not for us to go actually go out to get something to eat?" In the heat of the moment, I accidently mention him buying again. All I want to do is go out with each other to try and get back to normal, but of course, I have to open my big mouth.

"What are you talking about?" Asher says, stepping away from me and pretending like he doesn't know.

"Nevermind, Asher. I'll pay for tonight. Let's just go."

Grabbing my purse and keys off my kitchen counter, I notice Asher doing the opposite and sitting himself down on one of the bar stools. 

"Are you kidding right now? I specifically told you that I was done with that stuff. I quit for you, and you're just going to stand there and accuse me of going out and buying again. Okay, whatever." I can tell my the tone of his voice, this anger is all an act. He knows that I'm right, but he's too scared to own up to his mistakes. 

"I'm so done with this, with you. Just leave."

I place my things back down where I found them and begin to make my way up to my bedroom without even looking back at him. I just want him to leave and never come back, but at the same time, I don't. I know that he's just a messed up man right now, who needs someone to guide him back to the one I fell in love with last year. In fact, I do still love him, with all my heart even, it's just I know that I cannot be the one to sit here and wait for him to realize what he's doing to himself and to our relationship.