Twisted immortality

XIII - See through

When they woke up in the morning, everything was fine, more like perfect. Neither of them felt in any way awkward. Songkarn wasn't asking and Henry didn't actively push him away. They just shared their morning routine together. Songkarn walked into the bathroom, where Henry was washing his teeth, without hesitating went in and joined him. Songkarn finished brushing and had rinsed his mouth clean when he saw Henry watching him from the mirror. Songkarn turned around and leaned onto the edge of the sink, feeling the silent weight of Henry's thoughts.

"I think I can do it today.." Henry still did sound hesitant, but it was obvious something was different than before. "Let's do it today. Let's be together for a day."

Songkarn gaped at him. Was he serious? It sure looked like he was ready to try. He did not want to get ahead of himself.

"Can you show me around Seoul?" Was Henry giving in or was he saying goodbye?

"Yeah, why not. I was here when they built it, after all." Songkarn didn't want to ruin his day, so he didn't suggest him to make it lighter, or less pressured on the historical part. Well, in all honesty, Songkarn himself needed to look at the subject anew. Songkarn was the one who needed to adjust and stay calm whenever Henry mentioned one thing or another. Because all he wanted from this day was for Henry to be happy and if possible, to reconsider his decision to leave him.

This was, what he was actually doing. Henry was leaving, and he had not wanted Songkarn to feel any hope. Something seemed to have changed in him in the past night. Henry had loosened up a bit. Being near him this morning made Songkarn hopeful. But also a lot more in despair. Because he was just as much afraid as he was hopeful.

"Can I call you Anurak? For one day?" As an answer, he got a small smile.

"Haven't you been doing it by your own volition, whenever you like? I guess one more day will not kill me." There it was, again. The intentional jab, toward the end. Songkarn ordered his face to look as natural and happy as possible.

Min-Jun ajeossi drove them to Seoul and peeked at them from the mirror so often, that Songkarn felt himself blushing a lot. Like they were doing something in the confined space of a car. When in fact they were sitting as far from each other, as they possibly could, which Songkarn felt immensely displeased with. Somehow he just could not imagine this being their first date. Dating felt too simple of a term to use in this specific situation. But as they talked about nothing special, he got carried away, even by such childish thoughts.

A few sinful thoughts were also accompanying them. How far could he go? How far wouldn't he go? It wasn't like they met for the first time. They already knew each other well enough. Songkarn was obviously more than happy to see this go to the end. He couldn't be sure if his and Anurak's thoughts were leading to the same destination. Also with the differences of their lives, would they even fit in the same dimension.

In a sense, they weren't living in the same universe. Sometimes it felt like they didn't even see the stars as they were. Songkarn had the look of a lowly man from the earth. Who could not think of anything else except the beauty and the brightness of the stars? In a way, Anurak saw things from the point of a god. Having seen so much of the world and the moving of the time. He would look at the stars and know about their history, their ways, their cruelty as much as their beauty. Songkarn had to stop himself from thinking like this. It was too much of a fairytale and he need not think of Anurak as a god. Because then he would take away any chance he imagined he had. Is the only thing important, as if that god was sometimes also a man?

They started at the Seoul Plaza, in front of the City hall. It was a beautiful place, with a huge oval shape green grass field. Songkarn and Anurak walked across the green field. First, they didn't talk much. Seemed like neither of them thought walking and to be together to be a waste of their very precious time. When they stopped at the same time looking at each other, it felt like laughter was bubbling up from both of them and they burst out laughing loudly.