If I Could Say I Love You

Nineteenth Chapter

"No, no, no! I refuse to go back there!" Peter yelled at the orphanage caretaker, not caring if he was being disrespectful. The social services worker who was standing to the side sighed, knowing kids who got in these situations a lot, where they ran away from the person that was giving up everything to care for them. The social services lady had seen it a hundred times before, but she always had means of persuasion to get what she wanted.

"I don't know why you are complaining so much, Peter. Most kids in your situation would kill to have a family again. And this kind woman is saying you can go back to the one you had, what is the problem?" The caretaker asked, rolling her eyes at Peter's dramatics. The caretaker just wanted Peter out of her hair, seeing him as the entity of evil itself, and wrongfully treated Peter in such a manner.

"Did you not read my case file? Did either of you read it? I will never go back, and you can't force," Peter said crossing his arms and narrowing his eyes. Peter woukd run away, he totally could. Maybe New York would miss Spider-Man, but Peter was sure other vigilantes would rise to the occasion. And even if they didn't, if New York got too troublesome, the government or even SHIELD could handle it, so New York didn't need Spider-Man. Or maybe that's just what Peter wanted to believe to help relieve the guilt he would feel.

The social services worker gave a smile before handing Peter a file. Peter slowly opened it, completely shocked by what he was reading and seeing. The social services worker just smirked grabbing a hold of the papers again, closing them. Peter looked up at her, seeing the sheer evilness in her cold, dark green eyes, and saw the fakeness of her sinister smile.

"You'll be going there tonight, so pack up your things and say goodbye to everyone you know," the caretaker said, not caring what was in the folder, but she knew that Peter was going to go now. It was evident based on the two peoples looks, Peter's anger and the woman's triumphant smile.

The social services woman packed up her things, setting the folder in her bag, and started putting her coat on, having everything ready to go before she added one last thing to the conversation. "And she does mean everyone, Peter. You never know if this is going to be the last time you see them."

Peter just clenched his fists as warm tears filled his doe brown eyes. The caretaker dragged Peter out the door to the hallway outside her office, not noticing his eyes narrowed in determination, his brain trying to work out any plan to escape his fate. But Peter couldn't figure anything out, and that's what scared him most.

***

"Hey, Peter, what're you doing here?" Harley asked as he closed his bedroom door. Peter was pacing the floor, playing with his hands before stopping in front of Harley. Peter took a deep breath, staring into Harley's eyes. Harley knew something was wrong from the look in Peter's eyes, but Harley didn't have time to ask as Peter began talking.

"Harley, I never knew how to say I love you until I met you, and I have to thank you for showing me what it's like to have a friend, to have an ally," Peter started. Harley grabbed Peter's hands, but Peter just pulled his hands away, making Harley frown. "I don't want to do this, please trust me when I say that, but we have to break up."

"Break up?" Harley said quietly, tears filling his eyes. He almost started sobbing when he saw how calm Peter was at the moment, how relaxed he appeared to be, the opposite of how Harley looked. What Harley didn't see, was Peter's heart breaking in a million pieces as he said the words.

"Yes," Peter said, watching the tears race down Harley's face, wanting them to stop with every piece of his shattered heart. "I'm really sorry, Harley, but it's better for both of us if I do this. And I do hope you can fall in love again."

"But... I-I really thought I loved you-" Harley said his voice cracking as everything came rushing to him. His heart started shattering inside his chest, and he could feel the blood rush through him as the horror of the situation held onto him. Harley didn't want this to be happening, he wanted to pretend that they were still together and in love.

"I'll always love you, Harley," Peter said quietly, grabbing Harley's shoulders and placing a small, soft kiss on his forehead. Harley just stood in shock, not knowing what to do and questioning why Peter would say he loved him when Peter was breaking up with him. "Goodbye, Harley."

And Peter walked away, out of the room, away from Harley who was sobbing into his knees as he fell down, his arms wrapped around his legs. Harley felt angry and sad, and just heartbroken. Harley felt like the love he had was being taken from him, and in a way, it was, but Harley would probably never know that.

Harley would never know how much Peter was sobbing. Harley would never know just how much Peter didn't want to do. Harley would never know what events would set this into motion. Harley would never know until he was brave enough to find out.

But right now, Harley didn't want to be brave, he wanted to let his emotions guide him out of the darkness. Because Harley didn't want to see the shadows of what just happened any more.

Harley cried his heart out until he had no more tears, but the pain didn't dull after his tears did. And Harley was forced to look at the situation for what it was. Peter just broke up with him, and didn't even look upset about it. But Harley couldn't bring himself to be angry, to sad and upset to have any other emotions.