Impossible Love

Chapter 7

I set in my room in the daze thinking of what my dad was gonna chew into my ear. I'm fucking confused cause I dont know if he pissed at me or disappointed, maybe both. But I don't feel bad for what I did I'm fuckin happy to be honest. Maybe I just should have done it with someone else and this won't be happening right now. I heard their bedroom door open and heard his footsteps slow and sluggish, I fucked up and bad, then he came in my room with that we gotta talk face that I knew oh too well

Me: I'm sorry daddy *hanging my head low to let him know what's real*

Dad: I know you are baby but why him? Why he had to be your first?

Me: Because I always liked him and I know him, I didn't want it to be a random guy, I wanted it to be someone I knew that would... Never mind

Dad: Yeah cause I don't want to here that. But in all seriousness baby he isn't what you think he only did that with you because he don't like me he don't love you or care for you and don't be one of those girls that think he do because he don't

I wanted to cry because I didn't want to believe it but something in me believed it, and all of it

Me: I kinda knew that *holding the tears*

Daddy: Then why'd you do it * sitting beside me*

Me: I dont know... I always wanted him to be my first and now that I'm older I knew he would want to too, but how did you find out?

Daddy: For some reason he called me and said on my break come here and look at his car for him and when I got here I heard yall in the room and I was so fuckin mad I left back out

Why would he do that? when he was the one that didnt want to get us caught. Maybe he forgot that he called my dad when we had sex... I hope that's the reason

Dad: Well baby I'm not gonna ground you or anything your a woman now and its your life but just take what I said and run with it *kissing my forehead* I love you baby

Me: I love you too dad

Dad: Now go to sleep

He got up and left out so I shut my door and stripped out of my clothes and wrapped up in my blanket and cuddling with my childhood teddy bear Mr. Giggles thinking of Max and what my dad said about him. I just hope its not true because he knows me too well I told him everything about me, I told how I felt about losing my virginity and how I wanted it to be special in every way, and if it turns out that he only did this to piss my dad off I'm gonna be crushed my feelings are gonna be more the hurt they will be damaged and under life long construction, because u trusted him with something I can't get back. What the fuck am I going to do if he just did something like that? But instead of thinking of it anymore I drifted off into a deep sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Next Day~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Grandma: I told you this before I don't care if he was gay that cowboy in broke back mountain was sexy

Me: I know right!?! Why did he have to do that though when we could have thrown our draws at him *laughing*

Grandma: *laughing* yep

Me: I missed this

Gma: I missed it too sweety even though you not my real grandchild I will always love you the same no matter what

Me: You know? dont you?

Gma: Yes I do and I'm confused why him why his ass had to be your first I love my son to death but he wasn't worth it

Me: I've heard that so many times but at the time I wasn't thinking like that

Gma: It's ok baby dont beat yourself up about it and I know how you feel just don't let him fool you, ok?

Me: I won't grandma

Gma: Ok baby now lets get back to that movie...

As she went on about how the cowboys in broke back mountain didn't get the right type of pussy my thoughts drowned her out because she's his mom and for her to say that about him I really feel like I made the wrong choice.