Nouvelle Vie (AM 2)

Chapter 6

Chapter 6

THUNDER

"Kamusta na siya?" naluluha ang kanyang mga mata

Binisita ko siya kung san siya nakakulong ngayon. Kahit na malaki ang kasalanan niya sa amin, lalo na kay Sunny ay pinipilit ko siyang intindihin, pinipilit kong patawarin siya ng paunti-unti. Kahit papaano ay may pinagsamahan kami. Minsan ko rin siyang naging kaibigan.

"Ang laki na niya siguro ngayon." ngumiti siya "Siguro mas maganda na siya ngayon. Minsan dalhin mo naman siya dito."

Walang emosyon ko siyang tinignan. I scoffed when I heard that from her. I will never bring my daughter here. Wala siyang karapatan.

"Hindi ako magtatagal" inabot ko sa kanya ang ilang mga pagkain at mga bagay na kailangan niya "Nagpunta lang ako para ibigay ang mga ito sayo."

"Sana isang araw makilala ko rin siya. I'm excited to meet her. To hug her." she said dreamily

"That's never going to happen" I said firmly

"Why?" she asked, shocked "I have all the rights to meet her. She's my daughter."

"Wala ka ng anak!" galit na pabulong kong sigaw. Huminga ako ng malalim para pakalmahin ang sarili ko "How dare you claim my daughter after what you did that night? Sarili mo lang ang inisip mo noong araw na iyon. You didn't even think about what's going to be the consequences when you did your little stunt. Makasarili ka. Wala kang ibang inisip kundi ang kaligayahan mo lang. You didn't even think about that innocent little girl in the car that day. Sinama mo pa talaga siya noon sa kalokohan mo. Pati siya pinahamak mo. Ngayon, sabihin mo sa akin, anong klaseng ina ka para hindi isipin ang kaligtasan ng anak mo."

"Pinagsisihan ko na nga, di ba?" tumulo ang luha sa kanyang pisingi "Ilang taon din akong nagbayad ng kasalanan ko sa ginawa ko noon. I'm regretting everything now, Thunder."

"She's happy now." I said, apathetic

"Alam ko galit ka pa rin sa akin hanggang ngayon. Maiintindihan ko kung hanggang ngayon hindi mo pa rin ako apatawad. I deserve to suffer. I deserve where I am today." Inabot niya ang aking kamay "Pero Thunder please believe me, I'm getting better. Nagbabago na ako. Kahit tanungin mo pa ang mga tao dito. Sana kahit hindi ngayon, sana balang araw mapatawad mo pa rin ako."

Gusto ko siyang patawarin ngunit sa tuwing tinitignan ko siya sa mga mata ay agad na bumabalik ang mga masasakit na alaala. But I always try to see the good in her. Because that's what Sunny would do. She sees the good in everyone. She always takes the good with the bad. Hindi niya pinipili ang maganda, minamahal din niya ang mga bagay na hindi maganda. And that's what I love the most about her. She has the most beautiful heart in this world and I think we don't deserve someone like her.

Tumayo ako ngunit agad din siyang tumayo at hinuli ang aking kamay. "Please, Thunder. I want to see her. I miss her so much. Kahit isang beses lang. Kahit saglit lang. Gusto ko lang siyang maamoy. Gusto ko lang siyang mayakap at mahalikan kahit saglit lang. Parang awa mo na."

Umiling lang ako at binawi ang aking kamay. "I don't think that's possible."

PAGKABALIK ko sa hotel ay saktong tumunog ang cellphone ko. Si Ana ang tumatawag. Napangiti ako dahil alam kung si Nouvie ito. My little ray of sunshine.

"Hi, Daddy! I miss you!" she was misty-eyed

"I miss you too, pumpkin." I said sweetly

"Who wants ice cream?!" I heard someone yelled on the background. It was probably one of Dylan's triplets

"ME! ME! ME!" I heard her scream

And just like that, my daughter's attention was already somewhere else. Ang nakikita ko na lang sa screen ay ang ulap at nayuyugyog pa ang screen dahil siguro ay tumatakbo ang anak ko.

"Hey, little missy!" I tried to get her attention "Did you eat breakfast already?"

"Yes, Daddy. I ate a lot!" she smiled

"Can I have some, Tito Dylan?" she asked "Please?"

Ilang sandali pa ay inabot niya ang ice cream cone na binigay ni Dylan at sinimulan na niya itong kainin.

"I'll talk to you later? Daddy needs to go to work."

"Okay, daddy!" she smiled "I love you! I miss you! Come home soon! Mwah!"

I couldn't help but smile from ear to ear "I love you and miss you more, baby."

SUNNY

I was bothered the whole day. Hanggang ngayon ay parang naririnig ko pa rin ang boses ng Daddy ni Nouvie. Paulit-ulit na nagre-reply sa isipan ko ang tinig ng matamis niyang boses. I could say that he loves her the way he greeted her earlier.

Naiinis lang ako dahil kahit anong pilit kong alalahanin kung saan ko narinig ang boses niya ay wala akong matandaan. Sakit lang ng ulo ang inabot ko dahil sa kakaisip.

Saka lang nawala sa isipan ko ang Daddy ni Nouvie nang makipaglaro kami nila Denisse sa mga bata sa labas. Mas mabuti nga na ganito kaysa nasa loob lang sila ng bahay at nakatutok ang mga mata nila sa TV at mga gadgets. At least this way, they will have a fun childhood and they are healthier.

MATUTULOG na sana ako ngunit may narinig akong katok mula sa aking pintuan.

"Come in!"

It was Mom. Kasama niya si Nouvie na mukhang nahihiya.

"Why don't you tell Tita Sunny, baby." mom encouraged her

She pouted cutely "Can I sleep here again, Tita Sunny?" she asked shyly

I smiled and pat the space next to me "Come on! What are you waiting for?"

Mabilis siyang humalik kay Mommy pagkatapos ay umakyat sa aking kama. Muli na naman niyang hiniling sa akin na manood kami ng Lilo & Stitch. Hindi talaga siya nagsasawang panoorin ito kahit ilang beses na niya itong napanood.

"Wawa naman si Lilo" malungkot niyang sabi

"Bakit naman?" hinaplos ko ang buhok niya

"Because she doesn't have a mommy, like me. She also doesn't have a daddy. She only has an ate." she said sadly

"Are you sad that you don't have Mommy?" I carefully asked. I don't want to hurt her feelings

She bowed her head and nodded "Yes. And I missed her."

"Does she look like you?"

She shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know. I never met her."

"How come you missed her if you never met her?"

"I don't know. I just feel that I miss her so much." it seems like she's about to cry "She lives in my heart that's why I only miss her sometimes."

"Why? Where's your Mommy?" I asked curiously.

"My daddy said that Papa God and the angles are watching her right now. That's why she's not with us."

I didn't know what to feel when I heard that. Her mother is dead?! My throat constricts and I could feel the sting in my eyes. Mas lalo akong nakaramdam ng awa sa kanya. Sa tingin ko kasi ay naghahanap siya ng pagmamahal ng isang ina. I see the way she looks at Denisse and Ronnie or at Ana and the triplets. Naiingit siya sa kanila dahil may mga nanay silang nag-aalaga sa kanila. She's probably longing for a mother's love.

And right at this moment it felt like I wanted her to not feel that way. I hugged her as tight as I could. I want to let her know that I'm here. I will always be here for her.