~ sorry i haven't updated in ages ahhhh ~
~ 1 month later ~
every single step i took, i was paranoid. what if he was watching me? he was obviously in jail still but god knows the amount of people he knows.
i had barely left the house for the whole month, only to go food shopping and to delilah's apartment. she had practically been bed bound since the incident, i hated seeing her unable to move. she was energetic, she loved bouncing around and the sadness on her face stung.
delilah wasn't the only one i was worried about. i was also rather concerned about bella. i constantly wondered if she had been through what i had. i had completely lost touch with her so there was no way of me contacting her without accidentally bumping in to her.
a lot of things had been going on recently, one of them was freddie becoming slightly distant and off, i noticed he wasn't spending as much time with us all, including mary. i wasn't the only one who had realised, roger had as well. rog always reassured me he was fine but something just told me otherwise.
i had quite recently quit my job at the depressing little cafe i worked at, the people who i worked with weren't the nicest and i wasn't getting the money i needed. luckily enough, queen had offered me a job of being their assistant. i was incredibly grateful of them doing this for me, i would get a fair amount of money for it and i'd get payed to be with my favourite people every day. i would start monday and according to fred i didn't even have to do much, just help them out a bit.
~2 hours later~
i had finally decided to tell delilah about what had happened that night. she deserved to know, it's just with everything going on i didn't want to make things more stressful. but at the end of the day, she was my bestfriend and i couldn't keep something so harsh like this from her any longer. freddie was also meeting roger and i at delilah's, for moral support.
once roger had finally managed to get ready we headed out the house and to the car which was hidden amongst the dull cars that scattered along the street. 'are you sure you're ready to tell her, love' roger asked reassuringly. i simply nodded and gazed out the window at the tiny, delicate droplets of rain. angel tears; that's what my mum used to call it.
once we arrived outside delilah's apartment complex, freddie was perked on a bench, he looked rather sad until he spotted roger and i walking over to him, a smile appeared on his face as he ran over to us. 'y/n darling, how have you been' he exclaimed, catching the attention of a few people walking past. 'better' i smiled. i was lying, i wanted to think i was getting better, but things were just getting worse, i didn't let it show though. just push through it. 'wonderful!' freddie giggled, grabbing my hand and hauling me into the building. roger quickly followed after.
we headed up to delilah's apartment and rang the doorbell, which had been there since they moved in, god knows how it still works. a great surprise hit us as delilah opened the door, rather than jake. it was good to see she was up and moving. 'lila!!' i shouted running up to her. 'i love you too' she laughed. 'oh you look stunning darling' freddie said, running over to join us and form a group hug. roger stood awkwardly by the door as we all giggled.
we all sat and chatted for around an hour and i kept trying to put it off. i needed to tell her, she was doing so well, i didn't want to ruin her mood. i realised i had to tell her. i squeezed roger's hand as an indication. he squeezed mine back as almost a way of saying 'it will be fine'. 'delilah. can i talk to you, like away from everyone else.' as soon as i said that the room fell silent and fear sunk in my body. 'sure' delilah said with a concerned look.
we went and sat in her room and she looked at me in anticipation. 'well, you see-' i stuttered. 'one night uh-' i couldn't seem to find my words. 'just tell me' she said rolling her eyes.
i had told her everything. every single bit of it, we were both a crying hot mess. she wasn't mad at me, which is what i was worried about. she seemed to understand everything and i couldn't had wished for it to go any better.
once we pulled ourselves together we headed back out to the living room where the boys were. i sat incredibly close to roger as i felt like i was about to ball my eyes out again. he wrapped his arm around me and pulled me in and gently kissed my forehead.
we all talked for another couple hours until it started to get dark so we headed back home. freddie had gone home a while ago, he just seemed a bit off but i put it aside. he probably just had a cold or was hungover or something.
winter had began to settle, making england even colder, if that was even possible. it also meant that it got dark earlier and the days began to drag less. i personally love winter, it gives you a reason to snuggle up on the sofa all day and watch movies.
~1 hour later~
it wasn't that late but roger and i decided to go to bed, we were incredibly tired for no reason. i was in a mood where i felt like i needed to cry, just let my emotions out. i dont know why, but i just did.
roger turned the light off and hopped into bed. i could tell he was exhausted because he led down straight away and almost fell asleep. i didn't notice it until i felt a salty tear land on my lips. a few more tears ran down my face until i made a sniffle. 'are you crying?' roger asked, half asleep. 'no, i'm just- i'm fine, go to sleep' i whispered. he could tell i wasn't fine and he lept up and turned the lamp on to reveal me sat there, tears streaming down my face. 'love, what's wrong. you can tell me anything, don't forget that' he said in a worried tone. 'it's j-just everything going on lately, it's too much, i just want to get away from it and live a normal life' i cried into him. he wrapped his arms around me, pulling me up towards him. 'it's okay, i promise it will get better' he said softly. 'but it's not. it's not getting better. it's getting worse. i hate everything apart from you, the band and delilah. i'm so sick of all this, i can't keep pretending everything is fine and everything will be okay because it won't' i somehow managed to blurt out. i didn't want him to know any of that. i regret saying it all, i wish i could go back in time. 'love, i- i'm so sorry, i should have known' roger said in a shocked voice. i just cried more and more as he held me tighter, kissing my head softly. 'i will always be here for you, always. you're my everything' he said, his azure eyes looking directly at mine. 'you're so cheesy' i managed to smile at him. 'oi, and you're not?' he giggled. i kissed him as he held me tight.
-•-
a/n
woah i'm back, ahhh i'm so sorry i haven't been updating, i've been on holiday twice and i've been extremely busy recently but i will continue to update for you all.
holy shit, tysm for 600+ reads. i can't thank you all enough and ilysm. you mean so much to me 🖤🖤🖤
keep reading <3
~h
xx
