Safe Word

Chapter 12- Hope

Happy Friday people. If you follow this story you'll notice I updated all the chapters with dates! Above is Tyler (Sam Harwood)

Tyler POV

09-24-18

"I'll never leave you pup" He whispers into my hair as he holds me close. I sniffle melting into his touch but only taking his words with a grain of salt.

Does he think I haven't heard people say this before? Every single time someone has said this to me it doesn't take them long to leave me. It always starts the same, they witness one of my episodes and then promise to help me through it. Eventually they realize that I'm too far gone for them to help me and they give up on me.

"Let's clean up your arm" Spencer says, pulling away from me and bringing my arm over to the sink. He bends over and starts to open cupboards and drawers until he puts a bottle of rubbing alcohol on the counter along with band aids.

"That's going to hurt" I mumble holding my arm out to him and watching some blood pearl at the surface of the small cuts. Spencer grabs paper towel from the rack and dabs it on my arm to soak up the small amount of blood.

"Grab my hand pup" Spencer instructs holding out his free arm to mine and I grab it holding on tightly when I see him pull out the rubbing alcohol. He opens the top of the bottle and I squeeze his hand tighter, white knuckling my grip.

This is going to "AHHHHHHHH" I scream as I feel the burning feeling crash onto my arm. Spencer holds on to my arm tightly as I try my best to pull away from him, but he is stronger than me. The foaming of my cuts continue to hurt more and more while Spencer continues to hold me arm and wait for it to be over.

"You are so strong pup" Spencer whispers kissing my forehead while letting go of my arm. I retract it to my body while Spencer places quick kisses on my forehead. I lean into his touch and smile lightly at the affection. It may not be here long but that doesn't mean I can't enjoy it while its here.

"I'm not leaving you alone tonight" Spencer says quickly scooping me off the counter, earning a big gasp from me. He holds me close to his body as he carries me out of the bathroom and into my room before setting me down on my bed.

"Pup do you have an extra bedroom" He asks me, running his hand through my hair. I don't answer for a moment just feeling his hands run through my hair was enough to calm me down slightly. When his hand stopped moving in my hair I came back down to reality.

"Yeah.. the door across the hall" I say looking up at him, seeing him smiling down at me. "But you can lay here for a bit... can't you" I ask, looking down at my lap embarrassed that I asked him to cuddle with me right now.

He probably needs his alone time, I just put him through a lot with what he walked into. I can feel heart rate starting to pick up as my thoughts continue to go further and further into the dark.

He is going to leave you soon he just feels bad for you.

He thinks you're just as broken as you say you are

"Pup I think it's best if I sleep in another room tonight... but if you need me like you said, I'll be across the hall" He says before petting my hair gently and walking across the hall. "Goodnight pup" He says to me and I give him a very shaky goodnight.

When his door shut from across the hall I could feel everything begin to crash down.

He thinks you're ugly

He thinks you're a lost cause

Don't waste his time just let him realize how awful you are

You don't deserve him