Safe Word

Chapter 8- I Deserve A Chance Too

HEY GUYS SO I FEEL AWFUL THAT I'VE BEEN SO WISHY WASHY ABOUT THIS STORY BUT FROM HERE ON OUT FRIDAY IS WHEN THIS BOOK WILL BE UPDATED I PROMISE. HERE IS A NEW PART TO TELL YOU GUYS JUST HOW SORRY I AM ABOUT HOW MUCH I SUCK I REALLY HOPE YOU ENJOY IT!

ABOVE IS JACKSON (Neels Visser)

TYLER POV

09-15-18

When we got out of the car at Topher and Adams house I was nervous as fuck. Why did all of those people stare at me in the restaurant? Why did everyone in line for that club have a variation of my pants on? Why did Spencer seem so on edge all night? I was so scared to actually hear from everyone about what I just saw.  Spencer leans down to my height and squeezes my hand bringing me out of my thoughts to look at him. He has a confident aura to him but today he is faltering, like he is scared of something. "You want answers don't you" He asks. To be honest I'm confused about a lot of stuff right now and I doth even know where to start asking questions.  I nod at his question and he sighs, pulling me along as we walk up to the front door of Topher and Adams home. When we knock on the door Adam quickly comes to answer and smiles big but I don't return the smile to him. I can't find it in me to smile right now if I know Adam is in on this big secret that everyone is apparently keeping from me. "Good evening Adam, can you grab Topher and meet us in the living room?" Spencer says as he leads me through the door to the living room where I see Topher on his phone. He glances back at us and gets up quickly smiling but it falls when he looks at Spencer.

Spencer sits me on the couch as He, Topher, and Adam go into the other room to talk about what happened I'm sure. I start to play with my fingers in my lap as I feel my nerves start to build at the suspense of this secret. Soon Adam comes back into the room looking very put down and I silently watch him take a seat across from me on the couch. I can see his eyebrows furrowing as he thinks about something and I see his nails start to dig into his legs. I need to stop this, I reach my hands out and grab his hands and take them in my own. He is slightly shaking as I hold him which makes me sad. "Adam..." I start and he slowly looks up at me. "It's ok Adam" I say but he shakes his head tears coming to his eyes.

"I don't want to lose you" Adam says softly and I furrow my brows at him. What does he mean he doesn't want to lose me? Is he going away soon? Am I not gonna be allowed to be here once I know this big secret? All of these thoughts are running through my head as Spencer and Topher make their way back into the living room and sit in the arm chairs across from the couch. Topher appears to be pretty mad right now but Spencer seems as calm as a cucumber.  Spencer smiles warmly at me but I give him a confused look, causing him to speak up. "Tyler would you like us to explain what you saw tonight". I answered with a quiet yes and watched Spencer lean forward in his chair. He went on to explain that what I saw was the lifestyle called BDSM. As soon as those words left his mouth my first thought was of Fifty Shades of Grey. When I asked him if it was like that the whole room reacted in a bad way and I cowered back in my seat.

Did I say something wrong? I didn't mean to make anyone mad I promise but that is my only knowledge of this lifestyle so far. I watched the movies, I read the books and I thought it was really hot. Maybe what I'm feeling is wrong. Maybe I shouldn't like fifty shades of grey. I don't want to be wrong, I don't want all these people to leave my life, I was finally starting to feel happy with them all around I can't lose them. I feel that tight feeling in my chest start to build up but Spencer starts to talk to me and brings me down, He is getting good at bringing me down lately. Spencer explained that the movie I brought shined a bad light on the lifestyle, it made it look abusive to audiences. When he told me about him being a Dominant it made my mind wander to him dressed like the people waiting outside of the club. Wearing leather pants and no shirt would make me drop to my knees at the sight of him. I don't see anything really bad about this lifestyle it sounds pretty interesting and if Spencer is apart of it then it cannot be so bad. But since Adam and Topher are here does that mean they are apart of it too? Obviously my brother and brother in law are in this lifestyle since he owns the club. But why didn't they tell me sooner?