Burnt Sienna (Hemlock Grove // Roman Godfrey AU)

Fears Fuel Hunger

I wasn't sure if Peter was home, so I went to Destiny's again. It was good that I did because I found Peter there, freshly up from a nap.

"How did the turning go?"

"Okay. I picked up something, but there has been too much chaos to properly decipher anything. Sorry."

"Hey, that's alright," I assured him.

"Why are you home so late?" asked Destiny coming into her living room with iced tea for everyone.

"Long story. I saw Roman feed on someone who worked at the White Tower. And Pryce had provided him substitutes, but he was hungry. So he killed the man, and Pryce will clean it up."

"Shee-it," said Peter. "Are you traumatized?"

"As much as I would love to tell you both that all I felt seeing that was complete horror and disbelief and guilt, I can't. Yes, I felt those. But I felt satisfied. Like I was starving too. I felt the man snooping in on us. He died because of me. Because I told Pryce. But if I didn't, the man would've told everyone. Anyway, yeah, I felt like I was feeding too. But I haven't had the taste of blood."

"Maybe it's like when you see food and your stomach already gets full?" suggested Peter.

I shook my head. "It isn't blood. If it was, I would have liked it when I tasted it. It isn't blood."

"You are a demon spawn, right?" Destiny asked. I nodded. "Bingo. How could I have not realized. Demons feed off of fear and chaos. The accident, this. There were people fearing around you. And you somehow feed from that energy of fear and chaos. 4th dimension?"

I recalled all the times I had felt that full-stomach feeling. Yes, it was fear. "No wonder demons haunt and torture people. Then the people fear and do something that results in chaos, and the demons live off of that. Wow, I never thought it would be fear and chaos," I said. "But I get afraid all the time? And you guys get afraid?"

"It's like saying why doesn't Roman drink his own blood or any of ours. Makes sense?" Peter said.

I nodded. It made sense, but I would do anything in the world for it not to. Out of all the things I could feed off of, it was fear and chaos. Inside me was this fear that the demonic side of me was slowly taking up the human sides of me. Something I would never ever want. I shuddered at the thought of me being an actual monster. Like Roman. Last thing I wanted on this planet.