for the past couple of... however long i haven't been here... i've lacked the motivation to write
i lacked motivation to talk to people i care about
i lacked motivation to work hard with all my studies and stuff
i've basically been going about my daily life moping and feeling sorry for myself
and i hate that i have
and i hate that i don't know how to find motivation
people are like "just tell yourself to do it" and it's really not that fucking easy for me
maybe i just suck ??
reading stories doesn't help, forcing myself with a pen and paper (or hand and keyboard) doesn't work, brainstorming or listening to music doesn't work !!
and this has advertedly been an explaination to my disappearence, and now i really am going to force myself back. at least to write because i miss being able to do so.
i realise i've been gone a long time so maybe my posts won't have any response and i realise people may not talk to me anymore. i just want to write and if you enjoy whatever i can find and create from somewhere in me, then thank you a bunch x
