That October Night

Chapter 29

              
                   "YOU WERE RIGHT. I wasn't always like this," I breathed into the damp air. I sat at the edge of Raymond's bed, with my back towards him and not bothering to cover myself. His lips grazed my bareback like it was normal.

Our normal.

"What happened?" he queried.

I scoffed, shaking my head. "Life happened."

"It happened to all of us. That doesn't mean you should let it get the best of you. When life gives you lemonade-"

I rolled my eyes, already knowing where this was headed. "Make lemonade. Yeah, I know."

"No. What I was going to say before I was rudely interrupted was; when life gives you lemonade, throw that shit back."

I laughed despite, my eyes being shut tight as I shivered in disgust from his finger trailing down my spine. My skin was crawling. Misconstruing my reason for shivering, he nuzzled his nose deeper into my neck, breathing me in.

"Easier said than done. Some of us have bigger demons than others, Raymond. What's yours?"

"My father is out there--somewhere. The sick part about it is that we don't even know his status. There's a high chance that he's probably dead and it scares me, Shorts."

I peered back at Raymond. He was such an open book, yet here I was using him for my own satisfaction.

How selfish of me.

Raymond was everything Josiah wasn't. He touched me with respect, never doing what I wasn't comfortable with doing. He was gentle and he took his time with me. But I wanted more from him, so I kissed the worry off his lips and he immediately sank in. This time he didn't bother pushing me away, easily giving in.

After much cogitation, I leaned in and whispered, "Show me how scared you really are, Ray."

And he did.

There was always something about thunderstorms that comforted me. It's like I always felt safe through it despite the chaos outside.

A huge smile sat on my face as I peeked through the blinds to see the darkness and flashes of light. The waves were wild, swallowing itself one after the other with huge gulps.

A loud thunder roared. My heart skipped a beat. I loved it.

I joined my friends on the floor to continue playing Uno. Lola trailed her finger over my shoe rack behind the door, taking her time to decide what she wanted. Finally, she opted for the mini Oreos and brought us the snacks we asked for about eight minutes ago.

Kaden was snuggled under Hakeem and every time he heard a rumble of thunder, he would scream and hide under Hakeem's shirt. Seeing this, I tossed my comforter over Kaden. He shot me a thumbs up with a dimpled grin on his vivacious little face and again dived in for safety.

"I don't get how you can smile in an unfavorable condition like this," Kat frowned as she twirled the ends of her now black hair around her finger.

"It's nature! What's not to love?" I answered, denting my chin with my forefinger. I gave my friends a sneaky look and dropped my card with a victorious snicker. "Uno!"

"Why didn't you say you couldn't play from the beginning?" Hakeem laughed, amusement sitting comfortably on his face.

"But-"

"Rayya, you don't get to say uno if your card doesn't match what's on deck by color or number," Malik told me, putting the card back in my hand. He then tried to explain the game to me for the third time and I nodded as if I understood.

"Forget it. You're hopeless. Let's watch a movie instead," Lola grinned, jumping up to her feet.

I groaned. Hakeem's effort to get me to love television failed and I'm sure their effort would too. It was a waste of time and if one wasn't careful enough, it could get addicting. London was a prime example of that.

There was a movie playing, but I wasn't paying any attention to what was on. My focus was on an Instagram DM I got from Chris Brown, giving me an offer to perform in one of his videos. I was skeptical and that showed through my message because I kept asking a variety of questions but at the end that got sorted out, thanks to Kat's interfering again.

I shifted closer to Kat and whispered, "How'd you meet Kaden's father?" The mention of her boyfriend instantly brought a glow to her eyes.

"Imagine my bewilderment-" she began, gazing up as if the chain of events were replaying in front of her and her head propped in clasped hands.

I followed her eyes and looked up too. I then shook my head to face her again, imagining how silly we must've looked.

"-when a ninth-grader with a mop of curls on top of his head and a beautiful dimpled smile came talking to me. Naturally, I turned him down a few times out of suspicion. I was thirteen and he was fifteen. However, he eventually grew on me and by the end of seventh grade, we started dating. Everyone was against us, but ya couldn't blame them."

She touched her cheeks, probably already feeling the blush creeping up her face.

"Then, I was terrified to tell him about my pregnancy, afraid that he would leave me, so he was the last to know. Phew, was he angry. He told me if I really thought that of him, then I didn't know him at all. Anywho, my man was man enough to take responsibility."

I sat up, hugging my knees. "So, at what grade did you get pregnant?"

She shrugged. "Ninth grade and he was in the twelfth.

"Sounds stressful."

"It was but having the right partner with you makes everything a lot easier. I took summer classes to make sure I didn't have to stay back. Luckily, by twelfth grade, he was only seventeen. His birthday is in August. I believe if he was eighteen he could've gotten in legal problems."

She sighed in content, resting her hands underneath her chin. "Sometimes, I feel like I don't deserve him."

"Why?"

"He's just so...unreal. Don't get me wrong now. I'm not bragging because that man has got more flaws than I can count, but his good outweighs the bad. And I'm okay with that."

I blew a raspberry, shifting comfortably under the thick blanket. "Lucky you."

"You and Hakeem would make a cute item if he wasn't so into Brook."

"Too bad, I like Brooklyn."

"You and Ray?"

I turned away. Raymond and I did things far beyond a platonic friendship, but I didn't love him. He wanted to be with me, different from what I had in mind. But I couldn't give him what he wanted.

What could he possibly do with a broken heart and an even more broken girl?

All I wanted was that fix from him. I didn't wanna be fixed by him.

"Nah. We won't last a day."

"Wouldn't know if you don't try. Why don't you give him a chance? We all see the way he looks at you."

And suddenly, I regretted asking her questions, because now she wanted answers from me.

"Not everyone is into love like you, Kat."

It was supposed to be an insult, but Kat the optimist poked me with a giggle. "What can I say? I love love."