LAW OF ATTRACTION

CHAPTER 19 : CRUMBLED WALLS AND BUTTERFLIES

"You are NOT CAPABLE!!" My Dad's words echo through my ears as he repeats it for the third time.

I fight hard to hold back my tears, my screams, my protests, my anger... I know it's useless. However, locking it all inside makes me feel suddenly claustrophobic. It becomes hard to breathe between the four walls of this wide room getting too confined for the three people inside, and the cries are resonating too loudly in this space.

My Mom starts to fight back, defending me like the lioness Mama she is, yet her words are blurring with the buzzing in my ears and the echoes inside my head.

"Let go, it's useless..." I tell her quietly, my voice hoarse from screaming.

"I do everything to please you and that's how you both thank me?! Lashing out on me for no reason?!" my Dad adds, his voice calmer as he regains composure with a sardonic glint shining in his eyes – one of his famous expressions that can drive you insane – and my Mom's shouting resumes.

And to think that the evening has started well... After a quite nice day at school, which I've finished earlier, and after training and working on the physics project with Alex, I've come back home in an especially good mood. I've helped my Mom prepare dinner, and we've been about to start eating peacefully, me, my Mom and my Dad, when it has all blown up.

I don't even remember why exactly; it's all a blur of screams, spites, and inconsistencies.

At this point, I don't even hear what they're saying anymore. I need to get out of here; I need to breathe. So I look at my Mom, making her understand that I need to get some fresh air without a word, and I immediately head for the front door. It wrenches my heart to leave her like this as her soft features are tensed in deep stressed lines. Yet my lungs are crushing here, and my legs are already rushing with the survival instinct to run away from this house, these screams, this insanity, even though I'm sure we can hear the scene all over the neighborhood.

I escape through the door as tears start to escape through my eyes. But I don't get to go far; I'm stopped dead in my tracks when I see a silhouette waiting by the door. Through my blurry eyes, I still recognize it instantly.

"A-Alex?!" I stutter.

Alex is standing there, in front of me. He doesn't say a word, his eyes just staring deep into my soul, and I feel more exposed than ever, as if all my walls had crumbled down; in a way, they have actually. I can almost feel them in shreds at my feet, and I don't even know how I remain standing on my legs, drained of all my strengths.

I squeeze my eyes shut as we hear another burst of shouts, and Alex takes my hand, leading me further away without a word. I show no resistance, and maybe this little gesture is all I need.

Once we're far enough so we can't hear the screams anymore, I manage to find back my breath and my cracking voice. So I glance up at Alex to ask what I'm dreading, "Did... did you hear e-everything?"

Although I can guess the answer by the look in his eyes: a gaze between pity and something dark like anger.

"Most of it..." he replies low.

I bite my lip hard, yet I barely notice the sting on my lips as I feel the walls I've just got away from closing around my chest and my throat. I can't pronounce a word, and I would not know what to say anyway.

"I didn't mean to... I came to bring you back your locker's keys. I thought you'd need them," His voice is hoarse and quiet as if I would shatter at any loud sound, and it is such a contrast to the screams I still hear echoing inside my head. He hands me the keys as softly. "I found them on my bedroom floor, you must have dropped them, Miss Clumsy..." He offers me a small smile that doesn't reach his eyes, but at least it makes me lighten just a little bit.