LAW OF ATTRACTION

CHAPTER 41 : LAW OF ATTRACTION

So finally I decided the shipping name, it will be... *drum roll*... ALEXENA!! I hope you like it ;)

And also, for this chapter 'I want it that way' by The Backstreet Boys is back, it's Alexena's song after all! ;) Go listen to it! 

  'Light up your fire'

I've discovered this not long ago, and I think it's one of the most important things to remember, as important as the Law of Attraction.

Too often we let our fears and other people's opinions control our life and smother our lights and fire. But it's time that we light up our fire, that we find out what makes us happy.

It can be a special someone, a hidden passion, a beautiful place, a puppy... anything that ignites this spark of happiness and love in you, that makes you feel capable of anything, and that brings this big silly smile on your face.

Find this fire, light it up, fuel it with positive feelings, let it shine to the world, and never let it die.

Be honest with the world, and most importantly with yourself.

Speaking of honesty, I always preach it, yet I hide myself from you. I know it can be contradictory, and you probably think I'm one of those 'Do what I say, not what I do' people. Though you should know that everything I write is always inspired by my life, and each word comes straight from my heart.

However, I think it's time I get a little bit more open. No, I won't reveal my identity because the 'Silent voice' is in each one of us; therefore I can't expose my identity.

But I'm going to tell you what, who lights up my fire, apart from writing for you guys of course.

I've found my fire the day I've crossed the tenebrous gaze of my special someone. Someone who has lit up things in me I've never suspected. Someone who attracts me like a magnet. Someone who makes me feel capable of anything. Someone who sees all of me, with whom I don't have to hide, and who I love with all my heart. And even though everyone, even himself, thinks he is not good enough for me, I know deep in my heart that he is. That's why I've fought, I fight, and I will keep fighting for us. Because he is my fire.'

I grasp the school newspaper in my hands, and as I still feel these flames burning in me, I grab my phone and let my heart lead my fingers.

'To Alex:

You better show up this morning at the oral, if you don't want your house to end up in ashes too'

I click send before thinking too much of which words to use, still not knowing where we are, what we are. 

***

"Elena," the physics teacher calls my name, the compassionate look in his eyes speaking volumes.

I glance one last time at the empty seat beside me, my chest tightening. He hasn't come. Everything I've done has been useless. I take a painful breath, the fire in me burning my lungs as my heart is in aches, and all my hoe has gone up in smoke.

It requires me an incredible effort just to grab my papers and go to the front of the classroom.

There, my eyes linger once more to the closed door, my heart hoping for a miracle when the rest of my body knows the doomed truth.

Does he even really love me if he lets me aching alone like that? Especially after how I've fought for him.