LAW OF ATTRACTION

CHAPTER 38 : SECRET MESSENGER

Another beautiful cover made by @mango_days 😊 I love this one! Thank you, sweetie 😘

"And the last group..."

I avert my gaze down when the physics teacher throws me an unequivocally disapproving glance.

"... Mary and Vanessa," he finally announces.

I know it should be Alex and me, but he is absent once again. I don't even dare to turn back to catch sight of the empty seat at the back of the class; it's now been a few days, and it's always the same sour taste in my throat.

"You should take this alone!" Lisa whispers to me, giving me an even more severe look than the teacher.

"I can't. I only have half of the presentation," I mumble.

"And if he never comes? I told you he was not trustworthy," she adds, shaking her head.

I don't even reply. I just grit my teeth, focusing on the notebook before my eyes. I don't need her to remind me what my mind is already battling with, and I don't know if it annoys me because I know she is right or because of the way she judges books by their covers.

So I just block out everything, even my own thoughts for the rest of the hour.

"Elena, can I have a word?" the teacher calls me at the end of the class.

I should have seen this coming, yet my stomach still twists as I walk reluctantly to his desk.

"I think you know what I wanna talk to you about." He offers me a compassionate smile, and that's maybe even worst than a severe scolding.

So I just nod, looking down.

"I already gave you and Alex extra time, but now you're the last pair, and the deadline to turn the grades is on Monday. So if Alex doesn't show up by then, you will have to take the oral alone." He sighs. "And if he doesn't take this exam, I can't write him the recommendation letters you've asked me."

"I understand," I reply, biting my lip.

"Do you know why he is skipping this exam?"

"No, I've tried to talk to him, but... he – it's complicated," I stutter, the lump in my throat not helping me form words.

'Complicated' is an understatement. It's not even the right word; 'incomprehensible' would be a better word. We've never really pooled our works; Alex has kept postponing it, and now, he is just avoiding me. I've tried calling him, texting him, and talking to him any chance I've got, but he is doing a pretty good job at dodging me. I don't even know why he is doing it. He loves sciences, and we've worked really hard on this project, yet it's like he can't even stand to breathe the same air as me. He is sabotaging himself without even knowing it because the worst is that despite how badly he has wrecked my heart, I've still asked our physics teacher to write recommendation letters for him. I couldn't bear to know he's had to give up his dream.

Any sane person would say that I'm crazy to still care for someone who has hurt me so much, like fueling a fire when I'm already third-degree burnt. But I guess he wrecks my sanity, and the only fathomable reason is that I still love him with every fiber of my being.

"I'm sure you can convince him," the physics teacher adds, the wrinkles around his eyes lifting up to give me an encouraging expression.

I wince doubtfully. "I'll try talking to him again."

"You know, I didn't put you two in group accidentally."

This makes me jerk my head up abruptly as flashes of the day we've been paired flood my memory. I remember too well the unbearable suspense of the teacher's hesitation, and then the mixed feelings of working with Alex. Well, it looks like not much has changed; Alex still leaves me confused with too many contradictions inside my chest.