LAW OF ATTRACTION

CHAPTER 34 : KNIFE TWISTED IN THE WOUND

BACK TO ELENA'S POV

I don't hate him. I should with everything he's done to me, everything he's said to me, but I can't. I've tried so hard since yesterday, but I can't. I still love him, and as soon as I pass the school gate, my eyes are searching for him. This dark silhouette seems to be the only light for my puffy eyes and the only mark for my lost mind.

I need to see him. I need to talk to him. I need answers. I need Alex. Everything that has happened yesterday doesn't make sense, though I don't know if anything has ever made sense since I've first crossed his tenebrous gaze. He's blurred all my points of reference; he is like a riddle of science, impossible to comprehend. Yet I need answers; I need some clarity.

I feel like I'm going crazy, replaying every detail of yesterday, every second that I've spent with him since the beginning, and I must be insane because it's like torture, yet I can't stop.

I've tried in vain to call him, to text him, since late in the night when after one of those many tormenting flashbacks, I've come to the conclusion that I can't give up this easily, not after everything we've shared.

I don't see him anywhere. But I keep my determination unfaltering. Unfaltering, in spite of the curious stares and low whispers around me. Unfaltering, in spite of Judy's pitying look as soon as she sees me on the other side of the hallway. Unfaltering, in spite of the placard on my locker saying: 'Queen of the losers', which is probably the work of one of the Queen Bitches, judging by the perfect rose letters. Unfaltering... I close my eyes for a second and take a deep breath. Unfaltering, it's so hard when my legs feel like faltering at any second.

"Don't mind them. They're just jealous because you were the hottest girl of the night. Even though..." Judy doesn't finish her sentence, but her look is saying enough.

I guess news travels fast. Besides, it's probably written all over my messed up face with the obvious marks of my sleepless night and hours of crying non-stop, and let's not talk about the nasty cut along my jaw. Her gaze lingers particularly over this zone, yet she doesn't ask anything, which I'm thankful for because I don't want to replay yesterday one more time; the scar in my heart is too fresh.

"I see everyone already knows." I half-smile slightly, the pain and bitterness tensing my lips.

"There are just rumors since he was seen at a bar yesterday with some chicks," she replies quietly, almost apologetically, which is unusual for her because she is always excited and mouthy when she talks about gossips.

I feel like another knife is stabbing my heart or maybe it's just the one which has still been there being twisted in the wound.

The shock and hurt must be written all over my face because her blue eyes widen, and she quickly says, "You didn't know?! Oh my god! I'm sorry!"

I shake my head, trying to shrug it off while my tears are threatening to fall. "No, but it's fine. We broke up yesterday. He can do whatever he wants."

I don't know if I convince her, but I'm not convincing myself. The fact that he's already moving on to another 'bitch' is painfully sour in my heart.

"He's an idiot for letting go a girl like you!" She shakes her head.

I close my locker and take off the white placard, chuckling bitterly. "I am the queen of the idiots for letting him fool me. Everyone warned me."

And the worst is that I've been about to go to him, to fight for a love that has only ever existed in my heart.

Now, all hope is gone. There is only this endless excruciating fire of pain, anger, and despair consuming me.

"You couldn't have known, he seemed really sincere."