Becoming Aredhel

Chapter Twelve- Lord Smiley

Aredhel's POV

Elladan's arms are wrapped snugly around my waist from behind keeping me from falling off of his horse, Onas. I lean back against his toned, strong body, relishing in the feeling of him. His breath fans across my neck, and I can feel his urge to place his lips upon my skin through our bond.

I focus on him and the way he makes me feel to keep my mind preoccupied. I wish to be distracted from the task we are taking into action. I know that the moment I lay eyes on the place my home used to stand, I will be a mess. I cannot even imagine my beautiful home being gone.

"Do not hold back your feelings," Elladan tells me lowly after a long while of silence. "Visiting your home might help. Maybe it will bring you a sense of closure."

I breathe deeply, nodding. "I hope so."

I close my eyes as we near my home. Tears already begin to rise as the familiar scent of the trees and the earth surrounds us. Elladan wraps one arm around my stomach, pulling me against him comfortingly.

I can almost hear Elas's laughter echoing through the trees as he runs from me, hiding as he always did. I can see those curls bouncing as he races through the forest on tiny legs. My chest tightens painfully, and I grip Elladan's arm as if the action will take away my grief.

"Elas-" my voice breaks, and I inhale slowly before continuing, "Elas used to run through the trees and hide from me. It was his favorite thing to do. I would chase him, and once I caught him, I would swing him around in circles as we both laughed until our sides ached. I would attack him with kisses. He pretended to hate it, but I know he loved it. His grin could melt even the coldest of hearts. I wish you could have known him, 'Dan. He would have loved you. He would have idolized you the way that Vesryn does."

I can hear the smile in Elladan's voice. "I would have loved him, as well."

A tear slips down my cheek as I smile painfully. "Papa and Naneth would have loved you, too. You are everything they ever hoped for, for me. Papa would have offered my hand to you without asking for my permission. He would have shipped me straight to your door, all tied up in a wedding gown," I say with a laugh, and he presses a kiss to my hair. "Naneth would have done the same."

"I would have accepted your hand without a single hesitation or doubt," he assures me, and my heart flutters at the honesty in his words. "You are everything I have ever dreamt of. You are more than that, actually."

I run my fingers over the arm he has wrapped around my stomach. "I would not have protested," I admit shyly. "I would have willingly stepped into that wedding gown."

He kisses my head once again, leaving his lips there for a moment as he ponders this. "Truly?"

I smile. "Truly."

The clearing where my home once sat comes into view, and the worst sense of dread possible sinks into my stomach like a lead weight.

"Stop."

Elladan pulls Onas to a stop abruptly.

"I wish to walk," I mumble, and my voice audibly shakes. "I wish to walk here, the way I used to."

He slips from the horse, catching my waist and helping me down gently. Our eyes meet, and his hands tighten around my sides, reassuring me. I lean in bodly, pressing a kiss to his strong jaw.

I pull back to look ahead, and Elladan's hand falls from my waist, instead taking my hand in his. He waits for me to take the lead, and after a moment of hesitation, I do.

"I used to walk here everyday, whether it was to find Elas or to go to town or to simply enjoy the natural splendor of the forest. I never felt lonely here. My heart was untroubled," I whisper to him. "'Tis strange how the birds sing so merrily, still, as if nothing terrible happened."