Wonder Dog | DAMON BGT

•13•

Simon

I hate when things don't go my way.
I like, and I need, to always be in control. It's inside me.

And that's why it irritated me so much if the plans didn't work out well. Even more if it was something of great importance to me.

Like... dinner at home with David.
Yes, as it says there.

After the BGT live shows, we had no other reason than to see each other for "obligation/work", so summoning the confidence of the world, days later I invite him for the first time to my house.

He immediately accepted, his response dressed in David's dirty humorous style.

I can assure that I will never tire of his jokes... Well well, maybe in the past I did, but the truth is that after seeing things from another perspective (cof, being a dog), I think very differently about him and his unique way of being.

I had thought about giving the event a special touch.
Not to make it so casual but also not so... romantic?

But all my ideas went down the drain because of my work.
It didn't allow me to leave early, so on the way home I almost had a heart attack because I had at least fifteen minutes to be ready.

I run through the garden and when I try to open the door, the keys slip.

"Shit!"

I threw all my stuff on the coat rack and go up to my room. I don't think much about the clothes I take and go to the bathroom.

Unfortunately, no matter how much I begged the clock not to go forward or David ran into traffic, my fear became a reality:

The doorbell rang, as did David's greeting.

I didn't care if I still had shampoo in my hair. I get out of the shower and start drying my body as efficiently as possible. Then I decide to walk to the entrance, dressing in the process.

"I'm coming!"

I lacked socks.

I open the door.

David was there, his height forcing me to raise my head and his smile to smile too.

"Good evening, Simon"

"Hi, Dave."

We go in, let him go in front, and I hear him chuckling.

"What are you laughing at?"

He looks at me, a cheeky smile dumbfounded me then.

"I found you in the shower thinking of me?" he puts his hand on my wet hair, caressing it quickly making droplets of water jump everywhere "you're all soaked, look at you!"

I see my clothes and they had dark spots from the water that I didn't remove well "oh, um- I left work very late and I didn't have time to... dry well"

"I could have waited for you to finish showering properly, it wouldn't have been a problem."

We settled in the living room.

"Thank you, David, but it's done."

"Won't you change? You can get sick" his eyes reanalyzed me.

"Wow, how much concern for me, mm Davey?"
I feel very happy for his attentiveness, a feeling that was strengthened when David denies with his head and deviates his gaze, a beautiful shy smile forming in his mouth.

"You're a silly man, if I don't take care of you, who?"

My heartbeat goes off.
Silly...

He notices my strange reaction.

"Hey, I don't mean it."

"Do you want— would you like to order Italian food?" I get up looking for the number of any local to give me time to get back on my feet.

"Sure"

Cowell, calm down.

It was a bit difficult to get out of that heavy environment, because David kept an expression of curiosity, confusion, I don't know, and I was getting more nervous, because with Walliams I feel a damn open book, without being able to hide anything.

What helped us was to put on a film and have him say that he liked my house, only that it needed more color.

I thought instantly: you could be my color here. You are being it right now.

But I keep it, like many other thoughts.

The food came, we ate, we talked, we drank wine, we laughed, I was staring at him secretly (he was paying attention to the rom-com) and it felt really good. I felt it my place.

The movie comes to an end, the early hours of that Thursday night had already passed to another life.

David stretches himself "it was good, wasn't it?"

"Yeah" three quarters of the film was watching you, but good.

There was a pause of silence.
My fellow judge removes himself in his place.

"Hey Si? I'd like to ask you a question"

"Oh, yeah?"

He nods, "Well, I know I shouldn't care, but here I go... Why did you leave so suddenly? I know it has to be stressful to run an entire company and vacations are something you long for. But you've never done anything like that before".

There it is.

My craving to tell him everything gaining ground in me.

But how?
With what courage?
With what words?
With what face?

"David, I..." my voice dies.
Fucking hell!

He hurries to say "if you don't want to answer me it's okay Simon"

"No, no. I'm going to tell you..."

I don't want to hide it anymore.
He remained silent, his eyes well set on me.

"I suppose... I had to learn something, you know... after so much tranquillity. I went to a place where I've rarely been and there I met someone."

Their eyebrows frown slightly.

"I already knew him, but very superficially. The point is, we live together on a daily basis and I came to think 'why am I here with him'?'"

I smile as different images of the past passed through my mind.

"But now I appreciate that. He filled a gap in me. I learned many things from him, without him knowing it, and I lost track of the days. When I least thought about it, it was months and I came back".

I don't dare connect glances until now.
I didn't know how to interpret his expression. He had some serenity, but also as if at any moment could be broken.

He was surprised by me seeing him and rubbed his thighs with his hands, nervously "and—erm, do you miss him?"

"Yes"

A lot, and he's right in front of me.

"You should tell him. Don't you think? Because if you don't, your life will go away and... well, you'll regret it a lot," he chuckles unwillingly and gets up.

"I should go, it's late. Thanks for inviting me, I had a great time!"

And he's gonna go...

I took his hand before he walked away.

"Simon?"

I tighten his hand and let it out.

"It's you"