"Come a little closer, and join me if you dare. This is not for the faint hearted but those who have no fear. While everyone else is slumbering bygone creatures begin to wake and if you want an adventure sit down and claim your place. A champion has...
I stared with disbelief as we left behind civilization and everything including the last road built in the 21st century before a ten mile drive along a bumpy potholed track that led to the old rot iron gates of the Highland Estate. We are sixty miles north of Inverness with no sight of another vehicle or human being, my mobile reception has gone and my solar powered battery died on me within three hours of leaving Glasgow. Why did no one bother to tell me that this is the only place in the civilized world in the year 2030 that only uses a landline or a radio? How am I going to survive cut off from the outside world for eight weeks in the remote Scottish Highlands? I have nothing but my grandparents, a load of sheep, highland cows, and deer to keep me company.
At least one of us will have a memorable summer I thought to myself as I looked across at my lovable golden retriever Polly, as she sat with her nose peeking through the half opened window of the Land Rover enjoying the fresh Scottish breeze on her face. I thought this was just another one of Mum's empty threats like no more football training or athletics for a few weeks for skipping school or not doing my homework. Mum was brutal for saying one thing and doing another.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
'Rhona! I'll send you to stay with your gran for the summer she'll sort you out!' she shouted screaming across the apartment.
How wrong was I? Not this time, now I'm stuck with two old coffin dodgers nearly in their seventies who spend all their time in the remote Highlands detached from civilization and other human beings. Gran spends more time talking to animals than people and Grandad spends his hours like a mad boffin tinkering with his inventions or testing his latest environmental breakthrough in engineering. Maybe that's a bit severe? My grandparents did not say a thing when they arrived to collect me from our apartment, as my mum and dad ranted on about 'the younger generation'.
'They are the now generation, I think the term for it is techno-addicts. They are totally disconnected from reality, they live virtual lives; observe everything and experience nothing!' retorted Dad.
'Honestly they are like cloned hermits that only come out of their bedrooms to refuel. I can't get a word out of her unless it's via a mobile phone or a text message,' Mum said scathingly.
It was funny watching Gran as she sat on her hands trying to restrain herself, Grandad must have warned her not to say anything. For once in her life she kept her head down and bit her lip as my mum and dad ranted on. The strange thing was I kept waiting for her to stand up and point her finger at them saying 'I told you so!'
My grandparents knew exactly who the dysfunctional ones in the family were. Gran insisted that towards the end of my eight week stay Mum and Dad swap their two weeks in the Mediterranean for two weeks in Inverness. Gran was the master negotiator and diplomat she just played along with them as she knew disagreeing with them would get her nowhere.
'Maybe you need some quiet time together just as a family, away from all the distractions of work and other people,' said Gran.
My parents do nothing but work I am sent off to another after school club or left with the babysitter, and for what another pay rise or promotion? Even on holiday they send me to the Kids Club while mum spends all her time on her mobile phone on the latest social media platform or her I-pad answering e-mail. Dad's not much better you can't get him away from his mobile phone someone's always calling him, 'It's an emergency, I have to take this!'
