forty

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anissa

here i was again at another vlog squad party, the 4th one of the week and its not even friday yet. instagram is probably tired of us by now but in reality it was just a way for everyone to get my mind off of things like zion.

it been 4 months now, i dont know know how hes holding up because i havent talked to him since the day that we split. i truly dont even know how im holding up, i dont understand any of my feelings, am i frustrated, am i sad, am i relieved? time will tell.

"AYE BUSS DOWN ANISSIANA I WANNA SEE YOU BUSS DOWN" kristen chants as buss down thotiana is blaring from the speakers.

davids neighbors are also sick of us along with instagram and seatgeek.

we danced like it was our last day together, like we've never partied before.

even though everyone saw the good portions of zion and i's relationship, nobody ever knew what happened after parties like this

no he never hit me or anything, he just didnt want me partying so much with david and everyone, thats why he'd always call me after two hours telling me to come home. but now without him around i can party as hard as i want whenever i wanted.

as the party continued and zane trying to get into stassies pants, moments later the doorbell rings

"i got it!" toddy yells

zion

i ring the doorbell with the guys behind me and we waited a few minutes

the door unlocks from inside and toddy answers the door,

"hey boys whats going on?"

"we wanted to see anissa" brandon answers

"oh well she's emotionally and physically unavailable at the moment" toddy then steps out of the way revealing a laughing anissa enjoying life.

"can i please just talk to her" i finally speak up

"uh its probably cold outside, just come in and ill ask if she wants to talk"

we all nod and step into davids house

anissa

i look over in toddys direction to see that the boys were here.

toddy then makes his way over to me

"the guys wanna know if youre down to talk"

"yea i guess" i hesitate for a second but then i agree

"okay call me if you need anything or if it goes south"

i nod my head and smile at toddy slowly walking towards the boys

"hey anissa" edwin waves and the others join

"hey." i dryly say

"we'll leave you two to it" nick says as the boys begin to leave in the other direction towards the backyard

"hi zion"

"hi anissa"

"what did you wanna talk about now?"

"i miss you..."

"zion we've established this, you got what you wanted and who youve waited four years for, go with sammi im not mad anymore. youve seen how she texts you and what she comments on your posts, its obvious" i stated

"but she was never who i wanted. i dont look at sammi the same way i look at you. i dont talk to her the same way i talk to you. and i most definitely dont love her like i love you."

"but zion you dont get it. you did what you did, in front of all your friends... ON OUR FOUR YEAR ANNIVERSARY. that night showed alot about you, sometimes you party too hard you forget those around you and and forget reality."

"but anissa-" i quickly cut zion off

"but nothing zion. we're done and we've been done." i walk away with tears yet again streaming down my face

i walk up to jeff wanting to go home

"jeff can you please take me home" i sqeeze jeffs bicep

"are you okay? whats wrong?" he asks with concern

i direction my eyes to the left signalling zion was to the left

jeff looks over seeing a crying zion and he knew what had happened.

"lets go" he grabs his keys, grabs my hand and we were out

i felt the boys following behind closely

but it was too late jeff had already got me in the car

"guys just leave her be, she'll talk when shes ready again alright? im taking her home" jeff stops the boys before they could reach his car

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