Are We Alone?

Safe Place

TW: Smoking, talks of therapy, anxiety and depression, past mistakes (anything else tell me! Love you!💜🖤💜

Logan's POV:

I dragged a long breath from my cigarette, poisoning my insides. My mind.

One would say that I knew better, and they wouldn't be wrong. I knew the dangers of my action, but I suppose that isn't why I indulged in them. No, that was more the reason why I hid them.

"Logan? Again?" Virgil sighed from behind me. "I though I got you those patches?"

He was worried about me. More and more. I don't know why I endangered myself so much. Scratch that, I knew exactly why I did it. I just couldn't voice it.

"You did." I pulled the cigarette out of my mouth, crunching under my boot. "I just feel stressed."

He sighed again, sitting on the edge of the roof. That same place he had cried before finding Thomas. This was our safe place. Where we'd just talk. I sat next to him.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing." Technically, I was breaking the rules of our safe place. We were supposed to talk here. Share our emotions, what we were feeling.

"Lo."

"It's just stress, Virgil. I promise," I said. I pulled the pack of cigarettes, immediately handing them over to Virgil. His eyes shadowed with disappointment.

That hurt.

"I just... I wanna know what is making you so stressed and anxious and... I don't know..." he trailed off. His eyes fixing themselves on a building further away.

"Sometimes," I started. This was harder for me. Spilling my emotions to someone. Attempting to string them together in a simple sentence. "Sometimes I'm scared they'll come back. It was beyond my control last time. It seemed like everything went wrong."

Every now and again I'll hear Virgil's piercing scream ring through the apartment. Or his sobs. Nightmares will either run him to my room, or me to his.

"I'm scared for you."

I hated those words spilling out of his mouth. I hated hearing them. Despised them, even.

It has been months since the fight. Almost the beginning of April.

"I know." The words felt clumsy, toppling past my lips. "I'm... wha- what if I make the same mistake again? What if you get hurt?"

Sometimes I can remember the dagger hitting his right shoulder on replay. A distant memory that I, Logan, am not all logic and statistical as I wish to be. That I make mistakes.

Virgil scooted closer, resting his head on my shoulder. "It was an accident."

"A terrible one. One that should have never occurred."

The wind whipped around us. Fraying his hair in different directions. Pretty.

"Maybe you should talk to someone?"

"Maybe." I wrapped my arm around his waist. "How about you? Are you taking your medication?" He froze under my arm, burying his head into my chest.

"So no?"

"I don't wanna end up depending on it, ya know?" His voice was soft. "I... just... I don't know."

I hummed quietly, hoping it would soothe his mind. "Many people have depression and anxiety, Virgil. I worry when you don't take it, not when you do."

"I'm sorry," he said, his voice muffled by my shirt. I pulled my fingers gently through his hair.

"I'm glad you are trying." He huffed a bit. "How's the therapist? Is Mx. Tol helping any?"

"Kinda? I'm still a bit shy around them. Especially since I can't tell them about–" he gestured vaguely, "all this super hero stuff."

He was pretty, in a way I doubt he would notice at all. I suppose no one could really see their own beauty. They only saw what they looked for. Only what was in the mirror.

"It's okay, Star," I whispered. The wind breezed past us. "Let's go inside."

*

Virgil's POV:

I held on to Logan's cigarettes with dear life, fearing that if I let go at any moment he would find them. Again.

He looped his arm around my waist as we walked down the stairs. We were becoming more comfortable with physically touching, especially since we depended on each other so deeply.

I reached my hand into my pocket, searching for my key. Finally, I found it, unlocking the door and stepping in.

"Are you going to my room or yours?" I whispered. It was pretty late in the night. I didn't want to wake Patton like last time.

"I'll go to my room for tonight. Goodnight, Star." I blushed at the sweet nickname. It was something we had started when I had pointed out all the constellations while in our safe place.

"Night, L."

I walked towards my room, freaking open the door. It was dark. Lightless, except for the light leaking from my bedroom window.

Peeling off my sweatshirt, I flopped onto my bed. I crawled between the sheets, seeking the heaviness of the covers.

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Guys, I am currently writing two more chapters for tomorrow (or really later today since it's 1:54 am rn). Wish me luck.