Broken

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TW: Mentions of smoking and cutting, tell me if there's anything else💜

Patton's POV:

The day ticked along. Movie after movie. Logan and Virgil were sitting next to each other, hands barely touching, but they weren't paying attention to the movie. Neither was I. Or Roman.

Roman has started this thing where he'd daze off into the distance. He'd just... fade out of a conversation, or anything. He could be so excited, but then a certain word would trigger something in him.

That fight did something to all of us. Destroyed us in a certain way. Broke us.

Whenever I see Roman fade away, or hear Virgil's terrified screams echoing in the silence of night, or smell the faint stench of Logan's cigarettes, my fingers twitch. An undesirable urge to hold the glass between my fingers and push it against my skin.

Roman took my razors. I had to improvise.

I focused back onto the TV. Aladdin was on, a favorite of Roman's. He had said it would help 'center his mind'.

It wasn't working.

I leaned over, reaching the remote, and pausing the movie. That was enough Disney.

"Thank Darwin, I was becoming physically, and mentally, tired of the Disney," Logan avowed. Roman slowly began to understand what was happening and what Logan has said clicked in.

"What?! How dare you!" Roman stood offensively. "Disney is a blessing from the Heavens!"

"They're annoying," Virgil muttered, "just like you."

"How dare thee! I came here, openly prepared to forego a tiring day for a splendid evening with my friends and significant other to then, by happen circumstances, be bombarded by disguised foes."

"...why didn't you just say, 'I can here to have a good time, but honestly I feel very attacked right now' like a normal person?"

Roman huffed. "I am not normal, I am spectacular."

I giggled and kissed his cheek. "You sure are, Sweetie." I moved to the kitchen, making myself a hot cocoa. Maybe it'd distract myself from my shaking hands.

It burned to refuse myself this simple task. It also burned when the glass touched my skin.

I just liked the latter better.

"What do you y'all wanna do for the rest of the day?" It was currently two or so in the afternoon. We had spent all our morning watching Disney.

"I need to step out for a moment, Patton, if you don't mind," Logan clammed, stopping himself short from anything else he may say.

We all knew what he was going to do. The smell would be obvious, the pain in his eyes would be too. I wonder why he does it. Poisons himself. But I suppose we all do, in our own way, his is only more evident.

"Lo," Virgil whispered. I could hear the heartache in his voice. The struggle.

I think when we faced Diesel, when we met Thomas, when we reunited two brother, we believed it would almost be like a fairy tale. Where we live happily ever after.

I think we forgot that's never a reality.

"Uh- Okay, Kiddo," I said, searching for the right words. "Just b-uh be careful?" It came out as a question more than a statement.

Virgil breathed out, tears brimming his eyes. I knew he hated seeing Logan like this. Seeing him so dependent on something so dangerous.

That's why he couldn't know about the cutting. It'd be too much.

I walked over and hugged him. His arms wrapped around fresh cuts, making me flinch. He pulled away, worry shadowing his purple eyes.

"You okay, Dad?"

I smiled. "Yep, I'm great, Kiddo!" I'm an actor. Playing a role set by life. This is my job. Call it lying, call it a mask, for me This is a role and my destiny is to play it to perfection. "How about you go to your room, and catch up on some sleep, yeah?"

He nodded. "Okay."

Roman waited until he heard the close with a satisfying click. "Patton, are you all right?"

I smiled, my demons pulling lips upwards into a smile that'll never reach my eyes. "I don't know what you mean."

A sigh. It hurt to know that in the end, no matter what I called it, I was lying to him. To me.

"Alright, well, Easter is coming close in a couple days. Will you be attending with me to spend the day with my parents?"  He asked, dragging his hand down his face.

I peered at him, watching his stature. "Do you want to see your parents?" The meaning was clear. After everything that had happen to his brother. After everything Remus had said. I wouldn't want to go back either.

I would take him to my parents' Easter celebration, but that would assume that they were celebrating... and that I knew them.

"I still want to see them, I just... can't help think of Re-" he paused, breathing in. "My brother."

"It'll be okay."

"I hope so."

Little did we know that hoping was for the broken.

____

Oof. Wowzies. Here's a little Roman and Patton angst. Enjoy the sadness!💜😅🖤

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