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"We need to expand the depth of our knowledge and find a way to protect our brothers and sisters. Sandy Hook should have been the anchor for change but unfortunately it wasn't, therefore, it is up to us. We must save ourselves and our people. A gun is powerless without a finger on the trigger and it seems as though we're the only ones who see that. The gun laws in this county shall change! Our babies deserve to feel safe at the grocery store, at school for Godsake! We have to make this change."
I ended the video and closed my eyes to take several deep breaths. If I didn't I would for sure initiated yet another panic attack. Last night there was a mass shooting in West Virginia ending the lives of thirty innocent people — nineteen of them being children. Per usual, the shooter was white and supposedly mentally ill and I was completely over it. I'd had enough of these shootings taking place and the evil behind them being deemed emotionally distraught or some other bullshit.
It was time that our country decided to speak for our children and for ourselves. A change could not be made if we all sat back in silence filled with tears. We needed to channel that sorrow and despair and demand a better environment. Demand protection and preservation. It was the least we deserved as people.
"Baby calm down." Giovanni placed his hands on my shoulders. I tossed my head back, blowing out air.
"This is just a bunch of bullshit. Every time Black Lives Matter is promoted they want to say no all lives matter but they don't fucking act like it! They're degrading and tormenting Mexicans, they're senselessly killing us and they're blatantly allowing babies to have their fucking heads blown off. Babies, Gio!"
"I know, I know. I just want you to breathe before you have another panic attack."
"This and black hate really makes me second guess having kids. As bad as I want them, I would feel so selfish bringing them into this world of evil. No one deserves to live like this."
"Kor—"
"I need a minute." I walked into my bathroom and closed and locked the door.
Immediately I broke down in tears. It was a cry deep from the pits of my stomach, releasing all of the pain I felt from the deaths. I knew for a fact that Giovanni heard me because I couldn't control the sob. It weighed too much to silence.
